Friday, October 06, 2006

Steph will be 30 in 364 days

- Is it too soon to turn on my heat? It was 63 degrees in my house yesterday. I kept saying, "Oh that's not cold", but I'll tell you what-it is, you guys. It really is.

- Shannon sent me this video clip from the Daily Show. Those of you from Cleveland will really appreciate it because it makes fun of Carl Monday. For those of you not from Cleveland, Carl Monday is this douchebag investigative reporter on our local news. He wears a trenchcoat and resembles a giant bag of douche. This clip is hilarious. Incidentally, the funniest story I've ever heard about an investigative reporter was told to me by my friend Mike. His friend Jim (not his real name) worked for a record store. An investigative reporter was doing a piece on selling CDs with explicit lyrics to kids younger than 17. They had a young kid-like 12 years old-go up and try to buy an album with that explicit lyric sticker on it while wearing a hidden camera. Jim sold it to him. So then the reporter while wearing a hidden camera and acting like the next customer walked up and said, "Do you know you just sold that album with explicit lyrics to a little kid?" Jim's response? "I'd sell it to a fetus if I could." Have you ever heard a more poetic response to a question? On the news they kept playing that sound bite over and over, and if you went to the website and clicked on the story that sound bite was there, too. He got fired even though the store managers really didn't want to fire him since he was their best employee. They were basically like, "Why did you say fetus, Jim. Dammit." They rehired him a few months later after things "cooled down". Man I love that story.

- You know what I don't understand? When musical artists I've never heard of sing or rap about being pestered by the media. What's that about? Nobody's hounding you because nobody knows who you are.

- The Office (spoilers): I feel like all I have to say is "Hug it out, bitch." I lost my mind when Michael said that. Just completely lost it. I love Dwight drunk with power. And I love Creed's creepy scene when he walked over and just started staring at Pam, and when she asked him to leave he said, "In a few minutes." Amazing. He is always good for one awesomely hilarious albeit creepy scene.* Pam looked hot in her new clothes. I think if we were friends I would make her dress more slutty. But I wouldn't chant "Fashion show at lunch!" over and over even though that was so funny. Kelly is a trip. And she's mean. Poor Roy's just trying to come up and see Pam as much as possible, and Kelly just calls him out right in front of everybody. Newbie girl at Jim's office better lay off my boyfriend-I mean Pam's boyfriend. Jim belongs to Pam, biatch, so just watch it. Um also Ed Helms is fantastic as Jim's psycho co-worker. "I will actually shoot you." Brilliant!

- Greys (spoilers): I love that these latest episodes are back to being a bit more upbeat. They were kind of serious there for a while at the end of last season. How awkward do you think the fantasy threesome scene was to shoot? Okay we all know she'll end up with McDreamy, but man-Finn really makes it hard. He is amazing. Did you see how excited Alex was that Izzie was back? Be more in love with her, Alex! Also he was awesome with that little girl. I'm telling you-babies. He will be a baby/child doctor yet. Also-is that a real condition? Insensitivity to pain? That's scary. So Callie was winning me over, and now I think she's really weird again. Who just gets naked in front of people she barely knows? I'm sorry, but if a woman I kind of knew from work dropped their towel in front of me, I would not be okay with that. As is consistent with Christina's character, when she realizes she needs to take care of Burke while he's recovering she doesn't wait on him hand and foot, she pushes him to get better. I love that. And I loved the last scene with the 3 of them on the bed laughing. It feels like the friendships are getting back to normal. And I am happy. Next time I'm gonna need more McSteamy, though. Mmmm...McSteamy.

- Yesterday was Steph's birthday. You may remember that last year we went to Malley's. Well this year we went to Melt Bar and Grilled. It's a grilled cheese restaurant. Seriously. They sell grilled cheese and alcohol. Can you say "greatest idea for a restaurant ever"? Soup is served in mugs, and the menus are made out of old record album covers. Matt dressed up to match Jen's Lionel Richie album cover:

After the amazing and delicious grilled cheese place, we went to bars. Every five minutes I had to make Steph put her birthday crown back on (oh by the way if you hang out with us we make you wear things on your birthday). Steph was freaking out because she turns 30 in a year. As if I'm not already panicking enough about my own 30th, she laid this on me, "Aren't you freaking out? Everyone has a list of stuff they want to get done by the time they're 30. Have you done any of it? YOU ONLY HAVE 2 MORE MONTHS!" Um...shut the hell up, Steph! I hate you! Oh also she's decided that this is the last birthday we are celebrating and the last one we are to talk about out loud. Too bad we are in charge and not Steph. So I'm thinking skywriter? A guy driving through town on a megaphone announcing it? Maybe he could be yelling, "Did you finish your list, Steph!?"

*For example in season 2's finale when he won the refrigerator and said, "Thanks. I've never owned a refrigerator" and just walked away.


Anonymous said...

Best Carl Monday story ever is when he catches the guy in the Berea Library jacking it.

Sarah said...

Then you will enjoy the clip, Anon!

russ said...

Last Tuesday I got Mondayed. I was parking in a truck zone in Public Square while I ran in to an ATM and when I was walking back to my car he said "excuse me sir, can you tell me why you ar eparked in a truck zone" and I got allfurtive and drove away like someone who had just molested a 12-year-old and raided a pension fund.

I didn't make the cut tho.

Anonymous said...

Again, you have two months!

Thanks for coming out last night! It was amazing. And Drew's taking the stage to sing to me and get me free tequila shots almost made up for the fact that he told my dad sex stories and Meg had to cover his ears and yell "ear-muffs" at him.

Get on your list. Seriously. -Steph

Johnny Virgil said...

Damn, i should have stayed an extra day.

John said...

man I have a lot of comments here.
1. My thermostat has been switched from air to heat or back at least 10 times already. 6 degrees is my range, under 68 heat goes on over 74 air comes on.

2. If I ever get harassed by Carl Monday I'm telling you guys now, I'm making the cut.

3. Russ didn't mention he was jackin' it in the truck parking zone. "YOU JACKIN' IT?"

John said...

oh and Happy Birthday Steph!

I had a list of things to do before I turn 35. The only thing I have left on my list is "two chicks at once" I have a month left, Steph? Sarah? can you help me not feel like a complete loser when I turn 35.

Anonymous said...

Pam passed on Jim. She doesn't get any more chances. Jim's new office friend gets a chance.

Johnny Virgil said...

besides, Jim's new office friend is much, much hotter than Pam.

Mon said...

That guy looks for the stupidest shit to make a story about. Selling explicit lyrics to a kid? Who cares?
euw those people that cant feel pain have been on real tv like 20/20. This one little girl poked out her own eyes cus it didnt hurt. She has to wear goggles. She also chewed on her own tongue. euw.

John said...

yeah eff Pam. The only thing that made her kinda hot was that she liked Jim and every guy like Jim thought, "yeah I'd have a chance with her too". Now that she destroyed him, she can go to hell while Jim bangs the supermodel that plays video games.

SnogAsh said...

I love Melt. You can tell Lakewood has been waiting for a place like it to open for a long time....Actually, I'm going to make my friends go there with me tonight.

George said...

This is "Jim," and there are some corrections I need to make to your (my) story... email me at