Holiday Tree: Still kicking

I bet you were wondering if we forgot about the holiday tree. After all, it's been a while since we last decorated it. But how could we not decorate it with such a big holiday approaching? That's right-I'm obviously talking about Election Day. What did you think I was talking about? Oh right right-Halloween. The holiday that is 12 days away that almost everybody else on Earth is decorating for. At this point, let me remind you in whose home the holiday tree resides: Steph. Election Day is Steph's favorite day after the 4th of July. And we even got Danielle to come to this decorating party because she loves Election Day so much. Do you guys see what I am dealing with here? Sometimes it's really kind of tiring being "the cool friend".

We had another special guest this time around: Steph's Aunt Nancy. Let me tell you a few things about Aunt Nancy. 1 - She rules. 2 - She is the one who gave Steph the new holiday tree because she reads this blog and didn't want the tradition to die. 3 - She brought us 6 bottles of wine (please see #1). Steph's younger sister Erin also came. She is in college, and, ladies, you know how when you were in college you admired women who were older than you and who had great jobs and were mature and sophisticated adults? Well she probably does, too, but unfortunately that doesn't describe us so she was definitely judging us. And quite rightly. I mean let's be honest. Are we anything to look up to? Is this where she sees herself in 8-10 years? Decorating a tree with construction paper ornaments? I don't think so.

When we walked in, we immediately saw these things:




































Steph had labeled some of our snacks after the Ohio candidates for Senator. Yeah-she really did. She doesn't want me to show this because she misspelled Sherrod Brown, but don't worry, Steph. No one will notice that. They'll be too busy wondering, like Diane did, why you didn't make actual brownies instead of pretending brownie donuts are a real thing.

Here's how the tree turned out:




















Yes-that's a picture of JFK at the base of the tree.







This was the first ornament put on the tree. It was provided by Aunt Nancy, and she asked us permission if she could put the first ornament up there. Seeing as it was awesome, we naturally said yes.










Here we see our beautiful tree topper provided by Kim:




















When Steph gets married she wants this to be her bouquet.

This is where Diane tried to make our holiday tree boring by putting her one and only true cause up on the tree:














But she made up for it when she made one of her famous penises. Some of the girls said that you shouldn't put penises on an Election Day tree. 1 - Are you saying they belonged on all the other trees? Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, the every holiday of the year tree? 2 - If there is one tree we ever decorate that should have penises on it, it's this one. The world of politics is full of dicks.



Aunt Nancy pissed Steph off on purpose by putting the Democratic Donkey on it. Since it's at Steph's house, as a result of the donkey being on there the penis has been shoved way into the middle of the tree so it's not very visible, and Diane's penis isn't getting as much attention as it should. Incidentally if Diane actually had a penis, it would probably get a lot of attention.










Since we really did have a room full of people with different political opinions and from different parties, Nancy then tried to show nonpartisanship by creating this:













These were my contributions:




















My other contributions were:
1- drinking the wine Aunt Nancy brought (and I did an excellent, excellent job) and
2 - wearing a white t-shirt with a black bra.

Here Steph celebrates the meaning of democracy:















This seems reasonable:














This is funny whether you're a Democrat or a Republican.















I mean honestly how can you not laugh at that. And this is how we all really feel:









Stay tuned for next time when it'll probably be like December 20th, and we'll decorate the tree for Winter Solstice or something.

P.S. This is also sitting in Steph's house:
















You may remember when Steph stole Shannon's bouquet at her wedding. Well, that's not it. That's a bouquet from a wedding she went to a couple weeks ago. That's right-Steph is now a serial bouquet stealer. Steph, you have started down a dark path. If you keep going this way, it will be too late to turn back. So I say keep going because it is really funny.