How was everyone's Halloween? I went to Diane and Drew's house to contribute to childhood obesity, as Drew would say. We also ate the crap out of the chili that Diane made for us. It was awesome.
Woody came over, too. The three of them drank beer while I wore a headband that had lit up pumpkins on it. While we were sitting there, Meg and Aloyd walked up carrying wine. We asked if we could get them some chairs and Meg said,"Just glasses and a corkscrew." Six adults sitting on the porch drinking alcohol and eating chili. You could almost feel the envy of the parents out with their children.
There were so many cute kids. It made my ovaries ache. When teenagers came up who didn't bother putting on a costume, we gave them a Payday since that was the worst candy bar we had. At one point an unmarked white van drove through the street. Drew was like, "That's totally not shady at all while children are roaming the streets." Woody called it The Kidcatcher.
After the festivities, we watched the Cavs be terrible. Then we watched "Rent", but Drew muted the parts he thought were too sad. This morning he told me that he was glad that Diane and I weren't intravenous drug users so that we wouldn't get AIDS. That's our Drew: equal parts sweet and weird.
Tell me funny Halloween stories.
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5 comments:
Ignore that ache if at all possible. It starts as an ache in the ovaries, turns to a whole body ache, then an isolated ache as you are trying to get it out of your body. Then you get no sleep and your clothes never fit again. Your bank account aches most of all. Over time you just end up with one of those sullen teenagers. Not to say that there aren't any good parts to having kids, I just can't think of any right now :)
My roommate only bought enough candy for 45 kids. I didn't think it was enough, but I thought maybe she knew better than I. Big mistake. She went through it all in about 30 minutes and then had two little girls left on the porch with nothing to give them, so she gave them apples I bought at the store last week (I'm so sure their parents will let them eat those!). After that, she pulled the pumpkins off the porch, turned all the lights off, put her phone on vibrate, and hid in her bedroom on the second floor until I got home from work bearing additional candy.
On Halloween day: I gave candy to kids.
On celebrate Halloween night, aka Saturday: An Oompa Loompa farted on me.
I turned out all the lights and locked the front gate so no children would come to my house. You thnk you're ovaries are aching, Sarah? Give it 6 more years and then complain.... ;)
I ate a big honkin' hot pepperoni and provalone sub and watched a really bad movie with my woman. No kids came to our door. That anyone will miss.
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