No. Effing. Way.

Do you guys want to hear something awesome? Then you should probably go read another blog. You are not going to believe what happened to me.

I left work yesterday at the peak of rush hour and drove John to his car. Then we both got on the highway. I merged onto the highway then went to change lanes. As I was getting over, I looked behind me to make sure I had room. When I turned back around, the girl in front of me was at a dead stop. And I think you can guess what happened next. I was going roughly 45-50 mph just like everyone else on the highway except the girl in front of me. Apparently there were pieces of a bumper on the road and instead of going around it like every single other car she just stopped.

I ran into the girl, and the guy behind me ran into me. It was so awesome! We got out to assess the damage-of which there was very little-and the dude and I were ready to exchange info and leave, but the girl was already on the phone with the police. I don't blame her-if I was the car in front I'd call, too. But I was annoyed because I just wanted to go home. Oh and did I mention it was hailing? Yes. It only added to the enjoyment.

In the meantime John called me. He was 2 cars in front of me. He was like, "That wasn't you, was it?". When I told him it was he said, "Oh man-I went around the bumper, looked in my rearview mirror, saw the person behind me just completely lock up her brakes and thought 'Oh boy-this is not going to be good'."

As I was sitting there it dawned on me that half the people I work with were probably driving by. It couldn't get worse, right? Wrong. After a few minutes of talking to my dad, both of us almost positive there was no way a Cleveland cop was going to show up in less than 2 hours, I saw a firetruck and ambulance coming the opposite way of the highway. I made a joke, "Hey, Dad, maybe those are coming here.". We had a good laugh as I watched the emergency vehicles drive on by. Two minutes later the firetruck and ambulance pulled up behind us blocking our lane and the lane to our right-where basically everyone in Cleveland was trying to get on the highway.

At this point I was trying to sink as far down into my seat as humanly possible. And I put on my hood thinking it would help me to become invisible.

The firemen and paramedics, once they realized we were all okay, were visibly annoyed. I heard one of them say in an agitated voice, "There's like barely any damage.". I do not blame them. All I kept thinking about was what in the hell did this girl say to 911 when she called in this accident to cause them to send an ambulance and a firetruck?

One of the firemen came up and said, "Are you guys just going to exchange info and leave?". I told him if he could get the others to agree with that then I was in. He told us he thought that's what we should do then we had to stand out in the hail and write all our shit down. Finally when we were done they told us to get over to the right lane since they had it blocked off, build up our speed and merge into traffic.

I let the girl go, gave her some room then I went. I got up to about 50mph and the girl fucking slammed on her brakes again! We suddenly were at 25mph, and I was like are you effing kidding me? Luckily this time I avoided an accident, and I got over since obviously this chick was trying to kill me.

Right as I was on my way, my parents called. "You're on the news". Yes. We were on the news. They were talking about this 3 car pile up on the highway, emergency services on the scene, etc. Good Lord.

That's 3 accidents this year that I've been involved in either directly or indirectly. I think I shall dub 2007 "The Year of the Accident". I am ready for The Year of the Accident to give way to The Year I Win Millions in the Lottery...And I Marry John Krasinski.