Monday, November 06, 2006

Halloween 2006

So I didn't tell anyone about my Halloween this year. Maybe that's because I was drunk for most of it. Thursday we had pumpkin carving at Danielle's house. There were only five of us there-four participating (Sharda's lame). Here is the final product:

From left to right: Danielle, Diane, me, Meg, Meg

Danielle carved that mouth freehand and in like 20 milliseconds. You can't really see Meg's first one, and that's because it's not a real pumpkin. It's some kind of fake pumpkin you can buy at a craft store and carve it. That's just utterly ridiculous, but it worked nonetheless. However, we wouldn't let her put a real candle in it. Halloween's fun but not when your house is on fire. You can't really tell what Diane's is from this picture. She missed out last year so she dove in this year and was a little too overzealous. It's some kind of pattern of like 7 pumpkin faces within a pumpkin. It took her 3 times as long as every once else. I tried to remind her of our family motto (Aim Lower), but she wouldn't listen. By the way that's not really our family motto. My parents would not be happy with me if they thought I told the whole Internet that they encouraged us to always set our goals for the bare minimum. No that's just my motto. I came up with it on my own when I realized I was a lazy piece of crap.

The other significant thing about this night was that I baked a pumpkin spice cake...and NOTHING CAUGHT ON FIRE! I know-it's a miracle. It was actually pretty good, and it went over well with the boys the next night. So you see, I am not completely useless as previously thought.

Friday we went to a party at Tara and Steve's where I told everyone I was not going to drink then proceeded to get completely smashed and yell "You jackin' it?" over and over to this kid who came dressed as Carl Monday. Unfortunately for me (and him), he hadn't seen The Daily Show clip I was referencing. That really didn't stop me, though. D and I dressed as...oh man. I really don't even want to tell you it's so lame. Okay we went dressed as Vulcans. From Star Trek. Seriously. See we went to the costume store to find costumes and couldn't find anything but these stupid Star Trek shirts. The comfort of such a costume was overwhelmingly appealing to us (the tops were fleece) so we bought these vulcan ears that were bright orange and just went for it. It was ridiculous. Though the ears were funny.

Saturday night we went to ALoyd's house for his annual party dressed as ourselves from high school. Diane had on her volleyball jersey, warmup pants, ribbon made of our high school colors in her ponytail and prom queen tiara. She was all self conscious about the crown thinking people would think she was being a snob, but we convinced her to wear it. Then we called her a snob for rubbing it in our faces.

I was sporting my Strongsville Mustangs t-shirt and ever present flannel. I had one in my closet that Diane had tried to get rid of, but I took it back without her noticing. I also braided my hair when it was wet and let it sit all day so it would look like I had a perm and then I put it up in a scrunchie. And also...okay it's confession time. For my freshman and sophomore year, I had a tail. A tail, you guys. From behind my right ear. I was not the only one-all my friends got them, too. Though it's true-I hung onto mine a little bit longer than everyone else. I used to braid it and PUT BEADS AT THE BOTTOM. Holy crap, how did I even have boyfriends? Anyway on Saturday I recreated the tail, and I have to say-taking it out was hard. Then I remembered the episode of "Friends" when Monica gets braids all over her hair, and I realized it was a slippery slope so for the second time in 13 years (holy shit), I let go of the tail.

The only thing inaccurate about my outfit was that in high school I wore sandals everyday. It didn't matter what the weather was, it was always sandals. On Saturday, in my advancing age, I thought to myself, 'You were a fucking moron in high school (tail). No need to recreate that.' so I wore tennis shoes. Then D and I topped off our outfits with some buttons with our pictures on them and our letter jackets. Then they played "Hey Jealousy" at the party, and my costume was complete. I was me in high school. Only incredibly more drunk.

And just a couple notes on trick or treating:
- I am scared of junior high and high school kids.
- One kid called Diane ma'am.

I hope everyone had a happy Halloween!


Marianne said...

This really made my morning and made me homesick for good ol Ohio.

Thanks for making me feel better about my hair.

Mon said...

I shaved the side of my head above my ear like the skaters did. I thought that was bad. I didn't have a tail though. That's classic!

Anonymous said...

I am so bummed I missed halloween, ok no i'm not OSU football games rock, but still I don't know what a tail is...can you recreate it just once for me. Please. Make it 3 times in 13 years. Please! -Steph

Johnny Virgil said...

I had a tail in high school, but after the guys in gym class started calling me dogboy, I had it removed. The physical scar is almost gone. The emotional scar I will carry with me forever.

RIP tail. Your wagging ended before your time.

Adam said...

You are a comedy genius (tail).