Thursday, April 05, 2007

Juliet must go

Lost spoilers!

First of all, what the hell is up with Locke? He was so mean to Kate last night! Do you think he's joined the ranks of The Others? I mean I guess it would make sense. They love the island an unnatural amount, and so does he. But man what's up with all the judgement bestowed upon Kate? Easy, Locke.

The storyline with Hurley and Sawyer was fantastic. I love the line where Sawyer smiles at Sun and Jin and they walk away and he says, "Well I'm not going to get the Korean vote." Sawyer trying to be nice was so awkward and hilarious. "Your baby doesn't look as wrinkly as he did a few weeks ago." That's the compliment he chooses to make. How can you not love this man completely? And when he finds out Hurley was conning him, he says, "That's the lamest con ever." I happen to think their relationship is one of the most fun to watch on this show. And such a great point was made with that whole storyline-in stressful situations, leaders don't choose to be leaders. People just emerge as leaders. For some reason they possess personality traits that draw people to them or that command the respect and attention of the people around them. You never really know if it would be you who would emerge as a leader in that situation. Well, I mean I know for sure it wouldn't be me. There's no way anyone would look to the girl who was drinking all the mini bottles of alcohol from the plane and singing 80's music for leadership. But I mean maybe it would be you.

By the way, what is the most unbelievable part of this show? The hardest thing to digest? Is it the smoke monster? The van that started by miracle alone? The dead relatives roaming the jungle? No. It's none of those things. It's that Hurley has lost absolutely no weight at all. In fact he might even be getting bigger. Come on! Let's get real here, people. They've been on the island for 3 months. He would have at least dropped 20 lbs by now. Are we to believe he stays heavy on a diet of jungle fruit and wild boar? Yes they got food from the hatch, but it has to feed all of them. Not just Hurley.

Okay so when the hell is Juliet going to get out of my face!? She is so horrible and manipulative and always has a goddamn smirk on her face like she knows everything. I hate her! Plus she is getting in the way of Kate and Jack and that is not okay! What about when she pulled the key to the handcuffs out of her pocket? Whore. And when she was like, "Okay so we do know about the smoke monster, but we don't know what it is. We just know it doesn't like our gates." As if they didn't build the gates expressly for keeping out the smoke monster. Lying whore. Seriously does she ever stop lying ever? When Kate pulled her arm out of the socket, I was screaming, "Hell yeah!" Then when she apologized, I was like, "Nuh-uh, Kate. You do not apologize to her!" Honestly I yell this stuff out loud at my television. It's really annoying watching TV with me.

Jack, I love you, but how effing dumb are you right now? Juliet was not abandoned by her people. She was "left behind" on purpose to infiltrate the group. They used her because you have a soft spot for her, and they knew you'd force the group to accept her. It's SO OBVIOUS! I cannot wait till the group figures out that she's betraying them, and they kill her dead. When they showed the previews for next week and she said, "If I tell you everything, they'll kill me." and Sayid said, "What do you think I'll do if you don't?", I was like, 'DO IT, SAYID!!' Man I hate her so much. By the way, Sayid is one badass mofo. I mean seriously.

P.S. Lost writers, nice move having Kate and Whoriet fall into the mud pit. Could it be more obvious that was for all the guys watching? I could not stop laughing.

P.P.S. You guys, one of my other life missions besides the aforementioned one of getting NKOTB on VH1 Storytellers, is to get everyone in the entire world watching "Friday Night Lights". I am not kidding when I say television almost doesn't get as good as this show. It's perfectly cast, perfectly acted and perfectly written. It's smart, funny, heartwrenching, exciting, happy, honest-it's just so unbelievably real. And it's always good for at least one feelgood moment that is so feelgood it's like the universe is hugging you and telling you everything is going to be okay. They're the kind of moments that happen subtly in real life-the ones that take you by surprise like encouragement from someone unexpected or a look of forgiveness from a friend. This show is full of them, and each one is more beautiful than the next because like real life, they are sprinkled within the parts where everyone's just trying to get by. Not only that, but it has the most perfect theme song, it has Kyle Chandler who is amazing and who they try to make look like a normal guy but fail miserably because he is so beautiful, pretty girls (for the guys out there), and Matt Saracen who is easily one of the sweetest and most endearing characters on television. All that and football. It really just doesn't get better than that.

P.P.P.S. Juliet's a whore.


Mon said...

as for the Hurley thing, I think its the island that keeps him that way. Remember on one episode he said he went down a couple notches on his belt..And, they have had real food from dharma. He could very well still be sneaking it into the jungle and binging like he did when Libby was alive... Ya never know.

I'm right there with ya yelling at the TV, i was like 'you got knocked the f*ck out b*tch! Boom!'

It should be obvious to them it was intentional they left her there, like a new Ethan. You know jack will protect her. I dunno why. She ticks me off!

russ said...

Is it wrong or tragic or something that I can't think of a time the "universe hugged me"?

Sarah said...

Mon, I do remember him saying he went down a couple notches. However, he clearly hasn't. Maybe the magic of the island is keeping him fat. Awesome.

Russ, no it just means you are dead inside and not open to receiving love. Just kidding. :) I'm sure the universe has hugged you. Maybe you don't remember it because you were drunk or something. At the very least, the next time I see you (which at this pace will be never), I will give you a hug and you can call me Universe.

russ said...

O, and I just watched the Lost ep -- it approaches the greatness of yore.

Aaron said...

Sarah, yes Juliette is a whore. We like that, us men. (or is it "we men"?) Either way, you and I are definitely fighting for those comments... It is on biatch. ;)

Johnny Virgil said...

Something about Juliet's smirk reminds me of Angela on The Office. I am not sure why. My only question is why something that is basically smoke knocking down trees? Wouldn't it be easier to just go around?

i am not said...

I'm thinking last night's stuff with sawyer was just a set up for a big face off between him and jack. Jack's going back, baby, and he and Sawyer are going to have a go 'round or two. And that will be awesome because they'll probably be dirty and sweaty and perhaps shirtless.

I want to know what happened with Locke and his dad that turned him into an other. And where did they all go? The submarine was blown up - I thought there was no other way off of the island.

And I'm so happy that someone else watches Friday Night Lights. It is my husband's favorite show and he's gotten me hooked. I agree, it is awesome. I was worried that no one else was watching it so it was going to be cancelled. Last week when Tyra was getting assaulted while the Panthers were playing in the mud bowl... my heart was racing and I was nervous for everyone. I think you need to include it in your recaps - at least a few lines about how beautiful Coach T, Tim Riggins, the Smash and the new QB are, okay? Oh and when wheelchair boy was powertripping over new QB - very cool.

BTW, my comment is so long that you can now call me a guest poster - sorry.

russ said...

OMFG The Office is hysterical.

russ said...

BTW, I believe your reader deserve a reaction to this.

Balie said...

Sarah! I have blog-stalked you for like two years. I'm delurking to ask you where where WHERE is your recap of The Office? Where?!

Sassy Blondie said...

OMG..what is UP with Jack? How can he POSSIBLY think that Juliette is anything but a lying bitch? I TiVoed the episode, and I swear, I played the scene where Kate kicks her ass like 3 times and cheered out loud! I swear, I think they are now going to make Jack all clueless like they did Locke for a few episodes.

I agree with your Sawyer/Hurley comments. The con was classic! And Sarah, I have been pondering why Hurley isn't losing weight for like the past year! And I too thought he looked even BIGGER this episode. Can Jack perform gastric bypass on the island? I'm worried that Hurley is going to keel over at any minute from a heart attack!

And maybe Locke is going to infiltrate the others for our group? I don't know, but I certainly don't appreciate his attitude towards Kate. Ass!

And Sarah, you didn't even mention yet another connection they showed in the flashbacks of Kate. She and Sawyer's woman met and were partners...and Sawyer's a daddy, though he obviously doesn't know it. Did I imagine that?

Dwight as the hero of the Office and Jim finding out about him and Angela but not telling? All those weapons at his desk? Creepy office guy deluxe...take note of your coworkers. Michael and Jan negotiating a raise and Toby's side comments? Hilarious! The sad awkwardness between Pam and Jim nearly breaks my heart! Sarah, I know you tuned in! Let's hear it, girl!

russ said...

Official Locke Summary:

Locke feels in tune with the island, and is trying to use the others to learn more and do its bidding. He is not disloyal to the 815 survivors, he's just taking his own path to help them (BTW, I don't feel he was really judging Kate, but rather that he couldn't make a case for her being "good" in the face of her history. In fact, he said that the Others couldn't forgive, not he).

The bummer is that Locke has been consistently shown to put his faith in things that will eventually disappoint, if not outright use, him -- his dad, Eddie the cop, even the commune itself. So not only will the Others end up using him for their ends since Benry is a crazy genius, but the island itself is likely to betray his faith in the end.

Of course, while Jack has always been Locke's yin.. or yang, whatever, in the Science v. Faith debate it is unlikely the writers will make his path completely correct either. They're going to need each other, and Science AND Faith will be shown as the only way to rescue (or salvation if you will).