Thursday, April 19, 2007

Yes I took these pictures in Target

Dear Xavier Roberts, inventor of Cabbage Patch Kids,

What the fuck are you doing over there:

















Punk rocker emo Cabbage Patch Kid? Does he come with his own eyeliner and backpack full of angst? Honestly. Get it together. Also what's up with freaky ass baby Cabbage Patch Kid:


















Stop ruining my childhood.

P.S. After so much peer pressure to rename Blue iPod, I think I've decided to call him Hal after Lance Corporal Harold W. Dawson in "A Few Good Men" because then I can be all like, "Hal? Hal? Hhhaaaaallll???" in a panicked voice like Pfc Downey does in the courtroom scene. Scott does the best impression ever of that scene by the way. It makes me pee.

12 comments:

urban princess said...

I had a very similar feeling while at Target the other day. What the hell has happened to the Cabbage Patch Kids? They're not nearly as cute as they were back in the day. In fact, they're a little on the evil side.

I'd like a backpack full of angst for Secretary's Day.

Mon said...

Hal. That's also the name of some freaky super computer in 2001 a space odyssey. I hope your ipod doesn't turn out the same way. It could take over and make you listen to Sanjaya for the rest of your life. But then, what's in a name anyways?

John said...

Speaking of emo, I saw a funny t-shirt the other day. It said "I wish my lawn was emo then it would cut itself."

CruiserMel said...

I'm not sure, but isn't that Chucky?

Sassy Blondie said...

I can't believe anyone would want a CPK with that look...creepy. That emo one looks like something out of a scary sex store.

What's Hal's newest favorite song?

Johnny Virgil said...

Man, I hate creepy little dolls so much. Especially when they look like they are trying to hug your soul.

Sgt said...

I like the "Color Changer" in the box. You know that's just a euphemism for gender bending.

Frightning. Here I thought my daughter's American Girl dolls were scary!

russ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
russ said...

Cabbage Patch Kids always looked creepy, sorry to break it to ya.

Lost (non-spoiler version) -- I don't mean to be a pig, since my last comment was about Juliet's tatas, but that was some excellent camera-work on Kate there. Yowza. I can only hope the extra Desmond and Sawyer chest shots gave the gals a little something to watch as well.

Lindystar said...

Are they trying to be like the Brats dolls? I hate those too.

Are you going to post about Greys?
Because I need you to post about it so I can say that I don't give a shit about Izzies thing last night. She's been a beotch for so long that my give a damn is busted. Nice try thought.

So yeah I'm going to need you to post ASAP cuz P.S. George is a dildo.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

The real evil of those dolls is it teaches kids that it's alright to be "different", which it isn't.

That haircut is good for at least one after-school ass-kicking.

The Glitterati said...

The creepy baby doll looks astonishingly like Will Farrell.