Please don't go, Joey. Seriously please don't.

So I debated whether or not to blog about what we did last night. But that lasted for all of about 30 seconds because it was so awesome that I must share it with the world. We went to a concert last night. Not just any concert. We went to see Joey McIntyre. That's right, gang. The cutest New Kid ever.

When my sister found out about the concert, I literally couldn't say yes fast enough. It's not that I know any of his new music because I don't. But I would pay money to see Joey McIntyre stand on stage reading Marmaduke if I meant I got to see Joey McIntyre. Plus unlike other child stars, he is still hot. And, I mean, it's Joey McIntyre.

The concert was at the House of Blues in the Cambridge room. It's a small room which means everyone is pretty close. We were about 15 feet from the stage just waiting for him, and when he came out...holy crap I don't even know if I can describe it. My inner 13 year old was absolutely losing her shit. In fact, I think it's safe to say she, and therefore I, were completely paralyzed for the first 10 minutes. Seventeen years ago I sat in the upper deck of the Coliseum with my binoculars trying to get a glimpse of "my future husband", and now here he was only 15 feet from me. It was so surreal. I almost couldn't look directly at him for a few minutes. My eyes had to adjust to the fact that someone who played such a big role in the dreams of my youth was so close I could've said, "Hey what's up?" in a normal speaking voice, and he could say, "Hi there-how's it going."

As you can imagine, the crowd consisted of almost the exact same crowd that would've attended a New Kids concert in 1990. Girls who were 13 the first time around and are now 30ish and yet still acting like they are 13 when Joey McIntyre is around. I would say that 99% of the room were people my exact age give or a take two years. Then there were two older ladies behind us who maybe were moms who took their kids to the concert in 1990. That's it.

Maybe the biggest difference between this crowd and the 1990 crowd was that this time there were more guys. Including our friend Paul who came with us and his wife Jen. Our waiter at dinner asked how he got sucked into going, but truth be told, Paul bought the tickets. I asked another guy there if he was there as a supportive boyfriend or if he really liked Joey, and he said he liked Joey and he loved the New Kids back in the day. I think it's wonderful that the boys who claimed to hate them in junior high are now feeling secure enough with themselves to admit they like the New Kids now. Come on boys, I know there are more of you out there. Don't be afraid. Although there was one guy that needed to dial it down a notch. He came in in a New Kids jacket absolutely covered in pins. Remember those pins, girls? Yeah-covered in them. We made a lot of fun of him, and then we saw the jacket was signed by Jordan Knight so I kind of wanted to steal it. But he was holding onto it for dear life so that didn't pan out. He yelled, "Yeah Joey!" a freaking lot. I didn't even yell "Yeah Joey". I'm just saying.

Sidenote: 80% of the crowd was completely and utterly obnoxious. Is that how it was 20 years ago? Maybe it was, and I didn't notice because I, too, was annoying, as all junior high girls are. But I noticed last night. Holy cripes. Listen, ladies, yes he's amazing and beautiful, but you're not 13 anymore. Stop acting like a bunch of jackasses. Except for the girl who yelled "Take it off!" the very first time he tried to get serious and talk to us. That was pretty effing sweet.

As for the concert, well he really does have a nice voice. I mean sooo much better than 20 years ago. I think it's because he's fully completed the puberty process now. But seriously I am not just saying this because you know I would be honest with you: he has a beautiful voice. Also he is really funny and made a lot of jokes. He came out wearing a hat. I have no idea what the type of hat is called, but it's like the hats they used to wear in gangster movies. Diane immediately turned to us and said, "Do you think that hat has a top on it?" Which if you were a huge fan you understand:












Also he was wearing tight pants which TOTALLY showed off his package. Jen and I spent a lot of the concert in awe. Joey, I definitely did not notice that when I was 13. Well done. I guess his last album was a bunch of cover songs from back in the day. Like Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra, etc. So that's mostly what he sang which I was kind of glad for because I like that music, and I don't know any of his original stuff. Okay that's a lie-I have his "Stay the Same" album, but I only know like two songs on it-I swear. At one point he told a story about him and Donnie-something they used to do when they were touring-and the crowd went absolutely nuts. It made me realize what my life goal now is: to get the New Kids on VH1 Storytellers.

Then as I sat there on my high horse silently judging all the girls around me for being so embarassingly immature, he sang "Please Don't Go Girl", and I morphed from a snooty old lady into a screaming, sweaty pre-teen. You guys, I can say without a shred of sarcasm that that was one of the best things I've witnessed in a long time. I don't think it had so much to do with the actual song (even though it's awesome) as much as it was recapturing something from my youth that has been long gone.


Before I came down from the adrenaline-please-don't-go-girl high and after Joey made fun of his pre-pubescent high voice from when he was a New Kid (seriously it was hilarious), he decided to GO OUT INTO THE CROWD. You guys, he came right in front of us. He was a foot away. Twelve freaking inches! I could've reached out and touched him. I mean I could have if New Kids jacket guy wasn't in front of us screaming like a schoolgirl. I was trying to keep it together, but afterwards I turned to Paul and said, "I just lost my fucking mind." It was insane. Seventeen years ago I would've killed someone and hidden the body to get that close to him. Last night I considered it with New Kids jacket guy, but I refrained. Squirt, seriously look how close he was to us:














Other pictures:

Hi I'm hot















Diane gave me the camera once, and I took like 75 pictures in under 5 minutes. Then I took this one, and she took the camera away from me:




















I'm pretty sure he is singing to me here:


















I said it in 1989, and I'll say it today: I LOVE YOU, JOEY!!

P.S. Squirt, you would've crapped your pants.