Wednesday, April 13, 2005

12" Inseam! Seriously!

You guys, we need to discuss an alarming development happening in our world today that could rock the foundation of our daily lives. Of course I am referring to the resurgence of bermuda shorts.

My questions on this specifically are as follows:

1. What the hell?

I don't understand. Can someone explain it to me? Were the designers just sitting around one day like, "Hey-remember "jams"? Those were ridiculous. Let's bring them back and see if anyone will buy them."? Are people seeing them in the store and thinking, "Hey you know what I don't have? Shorts in the most unflattering cut available. These are only $24.50. I'll take 'em!"

I thought maybe if you had gross legs, it would be something that would appeal to you, but then I remembered-I have gross legs*, and I would never buy them. I know a couple of friends of mine have expressed interest in them, and I just want to say to those people: quit embarassing me.

Do any of you have these shorts? If so, please explain their attraction and then explain what the hell is wrong with you. I can't seem to wrap my brain around it. Maybe it's because I'm still trying to understand the poncho phenomenon.

*Seriously my legs are not attractive (unless you are attracted to varicose veins in which case you are really sick but I will still date you).

15 comments:

Amy said...

Oh my God, I'm so glad someone brought this up. When I saw Old Navy's commercial, I couldn't believe they actually brought these back! I was actually standing in the store staring at them wondering who could pull them off. Even stick-thin models don't look good in them! They're horrible!!!!!!
P.S. I also hate the Poncho.

Johnny Virgil said...

ironically, with my childhood nick-name being Pancho, and my original home Bermuda, I like to wear both. Simultaneously.

jess. said...

HA HA HA Johnny... that's too funny.

Sarah I too agree with you on the shorts thing. They seriously are the most repulsive things anyone could choose to put on their bodies. The first time I saw that commercial I laughed until I cried, and now, I just cry. It's just so wrong.

slcup said...

First off, when you come to SLC or I go to OH, we seriously have to get together and drink it up.

Thank you for bringing this hideous blight on the public to our attention. Here in Mormonland, they're worn all the time, whether they're popular or not. They're the perfect length to cover their garments. (For those that don't know, Mormons wear silky garments under their clothes, in lieu of underwear - it makes them holy or something). I hate the Bermuda short thing with a passion. Not attractive and goofy as hell to look at. On the other hand, maybe this is wear little people get their pants...

Erik with a K said...

Wow, I am so all over those silky, slutty Mormon undergarments, thank you Urban Princess Sarah.

Other hot Sarah, maybe I missed it, but what's wrong with my new pair of jams I just bought right now?

:_/)-

"AG" said...

If gouchos come back I'm going to Canada.

Jessica said...

They are hideous, but I think I'm just happy people aren't wearing those shorts that not only show your butt cleavage, but your no-no parts. Those were starting to make me puke.

slcup said...

"no-no parts"
that's hilarious!

Golightly said...

I have a pair. In my defense they are not the un-flattering Old Navy types. I think those are yuck. Mine are denim w/ a wide waistband; theyhave a longer cut (inseam and hit right at my knees than above) I think they are super-cute with heels dressed up.

Hoagie1 said...

I think peopl are realising that they can target self conscious fat asses as consumers. Or maybe they are targeting butch grils who just need something less feminine.

Gordon said...

Dude, of course Old Navy brought them back. They're atrocious....does anybody remember when they brought back track suits like 3 years ago (so I bought one...no big deal)? It was awful. I think they may have seriously just found JCrew designers that were cryogenically frozen in 1987, and brought them back. It's not even the designers fault, they're problably saying "Maybe we can get these placed on an episode of The Cosby Show you guys!"

ARM said...

Ammo Gal - gouchos are already back. JLO brought them back. She's a whore. Oh and the bermuda shorts are awful. Unless you're extremely tall and extremely thin, they don't work. And even then, you should wear them.

Oh, that girl. said...

Okay, as a golfer chick, they are very appropriate for golf courses, where you can't wear short or even regular shorts, without being stared at like a cheap hooker in a 4 star hotel. I would wear them then AND ONLY THEN! Other than that, they are rediculous and not flattering to anyone! REally, Even the models.

Men can get away with them, but I thought those were just the regular shorts they have been wearing for years.

What are they going to do next, try and bring back the spedo?

Tigerlily said...

My sister bought a pair, and I immediately took her out back to the woodshed and kicked her ass. I did buy a pair to play golf in though. That is the ONLY arena in which these shorts ever will, or ever have been acceptable!

Mel Mega said...

I find it very fulfilling to stand in the dressing room at Old Navy and tell people how awful those shorts look on them. I feel it is the least I can do to save my fellow human from total embarrassment.