Friday, April 22, 2005

I refuse to call them Bennifer 2

So it's highly likely that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are now engaged. I am actually okay with this. She is a much better choice for him than J-ho was, and they look really cute together. When Diane and I saw "Daredevil" both of us thought that they should get together in real life. It appears they got our message loud and clear.

However, this is Hollywood so there is no way this will last very long, and when it ends I fully expect Ben to come running to me as I am his chosen one, and we are meant to be. I am the obvious choice over Jennifer Garner. Don't believe me? Check this out.

Things I have that Jennifer Garner doesn't have:
  • Fat Roll
  • 2 bedroom apartment with no air conditioning
  • A job at a financial services institution
  • Credit card debt
  • Def Leppard t-shirt
  • Absolutely no martial arts skills whatsoever
  • Varicose veins
  • Almost all the seasons of "Friends"
  • A 36" television (beat that, Garner)
  • A car that's rear windshield wiper is stuck straight up
  • "The Goonies" on VHS and DVD
Seriously, move aside, Ms. Garner.

P.S. On a completely unrelated note, last night I saw an ad on ABC for "Sweet Home Alabama". They're going to be airing it on Sunday or something only this is how they advertised it: "Grey's Anatomy's Patrick Dempsey and Boston Legal's Candice Bergen and Rhona Mitra...with Reese Witherspoon in "Sweet Home Alabama"!" Are you kidding me? The movie IS Reese Witherspoon, and she gets a lousy "with Reese Witherspoon" after spouting off those three names? I know they are trying to point out that actors from two of their shows are in the movie, but honestly-that is horrible. Plus Rhona Mitra was in the movie for maybe 3 and a half minutes. Oh and there was no mention of Josh Lucas-the other lead. Nice, ABC. You whore. (I still love you, though).


Anonymous said...

I thought you broke things off with Fat Roll? I can't keep up with your love life. I guess you're just being coy with Ben.

Sarah said...

I did break things off with Fat Roll, but he won't leave. He just hangs around like a puppy dog. So for now, he's still here. And it's true-I'm trying to make Ben jealous.

Gordon said...

I'm very much in a love-hate relationship with ABC right now. How does a network that gives me Grey's Anatomy, Boston Legal, and Desperate Housewives turn around and give me a C-list celebrity's brother at the the Bachelor? Seriously, someone should stop them.
PS I heard Reese is getting a divorce--which is perfect since I'm single again.

slcup said...

Gordon: Jerry O'Connell isn't a C-list actor - I've been kissed by him. I don't know if I could handle another celebrity heart just can't take it.
Sarah: your list of things you have that JG doesn't is eerily similar to a list I've made about whatever gal is dating George Clooney. He'll be mine one day, just you wait.

David said...

Well from what you listed Jennifer stands no chance what so ever.

And you are right about the movie, that movie is 100% Reese the others are just there.

Sarah said...

Jerry O'Connell is totally hot. His brother is not, and I do not understand why he is The Bachelor. SLCUPS, if you for real kissed JOC, I will freak out right now.

slcup said...

HE kissed ME. He was in SLC promoting a movie, and his "people" arranged an appearance at my company. I told my boss I thought he was hot, and my boss told Jerry's handlers. During the appearance, I was standing off to the side with our PR person - all of a sudden Jerry was at my side and cameras were there. He kissed my cheek a couple times and he kissed my ear (weird). I was stunned, but the pics are cool. He smelled like bubblegum.

~jess~ said...

That's it. You should be in movies instead of her. And "Bennifer 2" totally killed me.

He's stupid if he picks her over you.

Scott said...

Oh man, you have a rear windshield wiper? That's hot!

Sarah said...

SLCUPS - I must see these pictures!!! I'm losing my mind!

Gordon said...

Jerry O'Connel is very much on the borderline of a B/C list celebrity. See my blog for more proof.....

ORF said...

Sarah, I really enjoy reading you and all, but I gotta bust out the cat claws for a moment:
I totally went to see a taping of the season premiere of Saturday Night Live and Ben Affleck totally hosted and I was totally in the front row of the balcony as they were setting up for one of the scenes, he totally WINKED RIGHT AT ME, so get in line, beeyotch!
If you don't believe me, ask my friend. She was there.

ARM said...

The Def Leppard t-shirt sounds sweet and if that doesn't get him to come running, then I don't know what will. I'm serious! Def leppard rocks!

John said...

I'm going out on a limb here but I think you should change your name to Jennifer.