Thursday, May 26, 2005

Goodbye, MC!

A co-worker of mine is leaving. She and her retired husband and two teenage kids are moving to San Antonio, Texas (shout out to ThatGirl7278). Her last day is Friday, and today we took her out to lunch. Right before we left the restaurant she told us a story.

She and a friend had gone out to lunch one day across the street from our building. She ended up not eating any of her sandwich from lunch and decided she would give it to one of the homeless people out on the street since it was completely untouched.

She spotted a man sitting on a bench from a distance and started walking toward him. She noticed he was holding a puppy and was excited to give him lunch and get to see the puppy. As she approached him, she realized that he was not holding a puppy. He was holding HIS "puppy", if you know what I mean. And if you don't, I mean he was holding his pet trouser snake. And if you don't know what that means, get out of the house more. Not only was this guy holding his "puppy", he was playing with it-violently.

She backed away, went into our building and told a security guard that a homeless guy right outside the building was going to town on himself, and the security guard started laughing and said, "Yeah-they do that all the time."

After she told us the story, and we had all regained our composure and/or changed our underpants, she said, "If you remember one thing about me, I want you to remember that story."

Holy shit I love her. MC, I promise I will never forget this story!!


Charlotte said...

Oh my! That reminded me of something horrible that happened to me and my friend one summer! We were laying out at the beach trying to get some sun and this guy pulled up next to us about 30ft away. He parked and opened his door but didn't get out. I glanced in his direction and noticed that he had his legs out of the car with his pants around his ankles and he was going at it like nobody's business! We were freaking out! We got in the water until he 'finished' so we atleast weren't giving him what he wanted.. He finally left, but kept driving by with this creepy smile on his face.. It was my first experience with a pervert! We didn't have a cell phone to call the police and didn't want to leave in case he followed us.. I can't believe I had forgotten about that! So, tell your friend to watch out for Texas beaches! lol

~jess~ said...

Oh my god that is too funny.

I live in a smaller town with no homeless people, so I can't share in the joy.

Scott said...

(1) I have a home.
(2) Why wouldn't she give me that sandwich?

ARM said...

That's pretty funny. I think what's funnier is the guards reaction. "yeah, they do that all the time..." WTF? nice.

ThatGirl7278 said...

Hey Sarah - Thanks for the shout out. I was wondering why I had all this traffic on my blog yesterday. If you speak w/MC again - tell her I said Welcome!

Anti-Blogger said...

Trouser snake???? Can you find that at a pet store?