Wednesday, July 27, 2005

The Army wants to know my turn ons

I got tagged by Erik Holtan who is vacationing with the Army in Iraq--you know they're just taking it easy there, getting some sun-nothing too stressful. Anyway, I thought the least I could do is play along especially after he called this blog "holy ground". Hey-anybody who can comment on a post about my boobs being too low and call it holy ground is a-okay with me. I also feel that playing this game would count as me doing my part for my country. I'm just saying posting about my Turn ons and Turn offs is almost the same as going overseas and risking your life to fight for our country and to protect the basic human rights of all mankind.

Turn ons:
1. Stained wife beaters
2. Addiction to alcohol
3. Gingivitis
4. 5th grade reading level

Just kidding. Dammit, you guys-can't you ever be serious? Here we go for real...

Turn ons:
1. Pulse
2. Possessing male genitalia
3. Regularly practicing personal hygiene
4. Able to cook more than macaroni and cheese (which is where my skills top out)
5. Cat hater
6. Salt & Vinegar Pringles-as in buying me some
7. Not moving to another city while we are dating

Turn offs:
1. Having a wife
2. Refusal to drink alcohol
3. Cat lover
4. Not thinking Will Ferrell and Conan O'Brien are funny
5. Using more hair/face/body products than me
6. Smelling like you soiled your underpants
7. Soiling your underpants
8. Third eye
9. Throwing like a girl
10. Goiters

I just don't think I'm that hard to please, people. I mean, Gordo, all you have to do to date me is bring me S&V Pringles and cover up that third eye. Okay I'm tagging Gordo and Johnny Virgil.

To Erik and friends in Iraq: you guys rule. We're all thinking about you and praying you stay safe. I hope people are sending you enough S&V Pringles to keep you strong. Thanks for reading!

7 comments:

Erik Holtan said...

Hey Sarah,
You ARE number 1 in my book!
Thanks for playing and for your support! And where did I say your boobs are too low? I would never say that...unless I did!
And yes, you have done your part for the country!
God Bless the U.S.

Gordon said...

Classic. Really. And I totally would bring you S&V Pringles, but I would totally end up eating them all on the way...cause I'm a fatty.....

Anti-Blogger said...

Conan yes, but Will Ferrell???

I just turned you off, didn't I? Damn!

Sarah said...

Erik, you did not say I have low boobs. But on the post where I talked about the possibility that I have them, you called this blog "holy ground". That's why I said that. :) I mean maybe you would say it if you saw me in person-I don't know. The military probably doesn't give out medals for play the tag game, do they? Oh well.

Gordo, I wouldn't blame you. Once I brought them to a party, and I bought two cans so that I would be sure to have one for me in the car and then still have on intact for the party.

AB, please don't tell me you don't think Will Ferrell is funny. Please. How can you not think he's funny!? He's amazing!!! I could watch him watering his lawn and laugh my ass off. I think you and I can still be friends, but we will need to begin an intense treatment program to get you back on track on this Will Ferrell thing. First session: Anchorman.

Johnny Virgil said...

Goddammit Sarah.

-jess said...

Yum. Salt and Vinegar Pringles are the best. You can have 10 points.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Finally somebody else besides me is coming out against GOITERS.

Effin goiters.