Friday, July 15, 2005

Fantastic Four

We went to see "The Fantastic Four" tonight. I really liked it. The guy who plays the Human Torch is completely scorching-and that is not a pun. He is ridiculously gorgeous.

After the movie, Paul asked us, "If you could be any one of the four, who would you be?" Of course I couldn't answer right off the cuff. I needed time to think about it, weigh the pros and cons, look at it from all the angles, blog about it.

Superhero: The Invisible Girl
Power: Can turn invisible and create force fields
Advantages: Can sneak into anywhere and spy on people, can seriously scare the crap out of people you hate, when some a-hole tries to cut you off on the road you can put a force field around him so he can't go anywhere.
Disadvantages: If you take your clothes off to be completely invisible and then suddenly you're not, people will see you naked.

Superhero: The Thing
Power: Super strong rock creature
Advantages: Strongest m-effer ever, nobody can really hurt you, if some jammer parks so close to you in the parking garage that you need an effing can opener to get your car out you can just pick up your car to get it out and then effing destroy the jammer's car. Not that I would ever do that-I'm just saying.
Disadvantages: You're covered in rock 24/7, you can no longer sneak up on people, all your friends would constantly ask you to help them move.

Superhero: Mr. Fantastic
Power: Can stretch his body almost as if it's rubber
Advantages: Definite sexual advantages if ya know what I mean and I think you do, ability to grab a beer from the fridge without getting off the couch, can reach stuff on the top shelves, can tap people on the shoulder from far away and then watch them turn around and try to figure out who tapped them.
Disadvantages: It looks pretty gross.

Superhero: The Human Torch
Power: Ability to control fire including covering his whole (beautiful) body in flames. Oh and he can fly.
Disadvantages: Definitely does not bring with it any sexual advantages—more like sexual concerns.

After all this careful analysis, I would say that I would probably choose to be the Invisible Girl. Because the simple truth is I'd be invisible, and that's awesome.


Amy said...

I was reluctantly dragged to this movie--I didn't think I'd like it because it was about a comic book, but I really enjoyed it--it was very humerous. I too would choose the power of invisibility. It would make gathering information so much eaiser.

slcup said...

I'd be the girl that dates Smokin' Hot Guy.

My dream is to have the superpower of being the Human Remote Control. I could mute and fast forward through annoying people. How great would that be?

Sarah said...

Whoa, SLCUPS! Greatest. Power. Ever!

Paul said...

The remote control power reference is funny, especially as there is a movie coming out called Click, starring Adam Sandler, Henry Winkler, the B-A-utiful Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken and Sean Astin. In it Sandler has a magical remote control where he can fast forward, rewind, and pause people and time....pretty cool.

russ said...

I'm wanting to see this flick, it seems like classic, fun summer fare.

On This American Life a few years ago they had a bit about a cool cocktail party question: would you rather be invisible or fly? Apparently it's quite an insight into a person's character (I would be invisible, too).

I have other classic cocktail party questions, but you'll just have to invite me to a cocktail party to hear 'em.

PS mmm.... Kate Beckinsale. She once said "Well, that's the nice thing about English girls—someone asks for a crotch in the face, they get a crotch in the face."

PPS What happened to Jessica Alba? She was teh hotness in Idle Hands (funniest movie ever), but somehow not once she got her own show. Or not as much, at least.

russ said...

Oops. Messed up the said link up there...

John said...

Dear Kate,
I'd like a crotch in the face.

The Everglades said...

I am a sucker for a bad pun. Thanks.


Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

You sold me on Mr. Fantastic with the get the beer from the fridge while staying on the couch. That IS fantastic.

Anti-Blogger said...

I would be all four because I am the Fantastic 1. A real superhero can do all things and not have any weaknesses.

Just a thought...