Um…I'm a moron. I'm sorry about the BUI (blogging under the influence). I am blaming Kim. She completely manipulated me into writing something, and by that I mean she said, "Hey you should drunk blog right now because those are funny." And I said, "Okay." Do you see her powers of persuasion?
In honor of the 4th of July holiday, I would like to make a list of things I love about America. I will call it:
Things I love about America
1. Country music
2. Not only will showing cleavage not get me a beating, but it is actually encouraged
3. I have a voice
4. I get a vote
5. Seriously you guys. Seriously.
6. Las Vegas
7. In movies, foreigners call us "cowboys".
8. I can criticize my government and not get arrested or executed. I mean, I don't really do this because I'm too busy reviewing TV shows, but if I wanted to, I could.
9. Food Network and HGTV
10. Old Navy
11. Baseball. And football. And basketball.
12. We got suckerpunched, and we picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off and kept going
13. We make movies that have lines like this one from "Independence Day": "Today we celebrate our Independence Day!" in reference to fighting aliens on July 4th. Cheesy. Predictable. Awesome.
14. These guys
15. Cherry Coke
16. We invented the light bulb, the dishwasher, windshield wipers, blood blanks, bifocals, the polio vaccine, Scotch tape, the airplane, and Salt and Vinegar Pringles
I could go on and on for days, but I will spare you guys. I hope everyone had a Happy Fourth, and for those of you who do not live in the U.S., we really aren't all cowboys. And we love you guys. For real. I mean I would totally date a cowboy, but there aren't many around here except for Steph who sometimes wears a cowboy hat at parties when she gets really drunk.
To my boys who are heading out to Vegas tonight: Be careful and have fun!!! Bring back money-not VD.
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9 comments:
One time! One time I put on a cowboy hat. It's not like I'm Aaron's roommate and can't leave the house without one, even though we live in OHIO!!! And you did make me thankful for point 8. Otherwise, you guys would be out a lot bail money hauling me out of jail constantly. You forgot to add "Lap Dances" to your list of good things we enjoy in this fine country. -Steph
LOLOL-I knew you'd be pissed about that. I almost mentioned Aaron's roommate, too!
Good point about the lap dances. I can't believe I forgot to add that especially after your performance(s) this weekend. Yee-haw, Steph!!
Damn you for writing the coolest America post ever. And I mean that in a good, pleasant damning way. You rock.
Also, thank you for liking country music. I figure if I personally encourage people's musical tastes I won't be stoned in CA. ;)
Can we add "InStyle Magazine" and the ice cream man? Damn I love the ice cream man. Oh and midget porn.
So Cleveland likes HGTV, The Food network and Cherry Coke?
Good list...check out my lists on my blog
I love Salt and Vinegar Pringles. Also you forgot that Americans invented gold, water, beer, Cheetos, Snickers, fire, fellatio and cunnilingus.
#1 concerns me, but I still think you are awesome.
Don't forget enchiladas, cock-fighting, pinatas, and salsa. Viva!
slcup - ditto on the midget porn.
Seriously Sarah, Paul Walker should daddy my babies. Just saying.
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