Thursday, June 23, 2005

I will punch this lady in the babymaker

Actual conversation between me and a lady who works in the department responsible for all of our purchasing and supplies:

Me: Hi! I need a quote on a laptop with a CD burner.

5 minutes of silence.

Lady: What do you need again?

Me: I need a quote on a laptop with a CD burner.

Lady: Oh I don't think we can get you a printer.

Me (confused): don't need a printer. Just the laptop with a CD burner.

Lady: Oh you can order that through [Online Purchasing and Requisition System].

Me: Well I was told that since I need the burner that it's a non-standard purchase so I need a quote first so I can enter it into [Online Purchasing and Requisition System].

Lady: Maybe this is a non-standard purchase then.

Me: Um...right.

Lady: Okay well what kind of laptop do you have?

Me: Oh no I don't have a laptop. I need a laptop. With a burner.

Lady: What model do you have?

Me: No I don't have one yet. I need to order one. From you.

Lady: Is it a T40, T70 or a T80*?

Me: Seriously I don't have one. Please I just need a quote.

Lady: Okay well is it a Dell or an IBM?

My head explodes.

*Note to computer geeks: I made these model numbers up. They were something close to this, but I don't remember exactly so don't write to me about how "There's no such thing as a T40, loser!" because then we will know who the real loser is.


Gordon said...

Actually, we'd know who the real 'looser' is. Stupid Sarah. Actually, isn't it ridiculous how many people there are out there that are so so so dumb that make more money than us?

bub said...

i deal with clients like this everyday. what helps me a lot is if you hold down the mute button on the phone, you can slam the receiver against your desk a few times until you feel better. it's almost like you're banging their head against the desk. i often wonder how these people make it to work every morning.

canis lupus said...

Sometimes it helps if you rub your temples. On occassion, playing violent video games, at the end of the day, help ease away all that idiotic blabber that remain resident in your head. By the way, visited this blog via Scott and I love it.

Noni said...

She didn't ask if you wanted fries with that. I believe that means you get your T80 IBM printer for free. That's standard, right?

Adam said...

I think a lot of it comes from people having phones and computers at their desk, which is clearly a necessity, but most people find stupidly distracting.

Tell you what, I will send you $2.50(AUD)* if you get someone to take a picture of you actually punching this woman in the ginee.

*For those that don't know, $1(Australian Dollar) is worth like $250 USD. Ask anyone.

Adam said...

P.S) I think I want to bye bye the "My apartment smells like rich mahogany" thing. Bye bye apartment bye bye! Hello super cool house with jelly wrestling room!

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

You're going to punch her in her uteris?

Oh, wait. Now I know what you're referring to.

BTW, I hated ordering from those people, especially since you could get the same part for one quarter the price at the CompUSA around the corner. So much for "corporate discount".

ARM said...

I can't believe that was a real convo...what a crazy ass!

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

I hope your head reassembly went well.
I hate when mine explodes, too. :)