Moving can be a hectic and stressful time. Here are some tips to help make it go as smooth as possible:
1. Pick your moving date early, and tell your friends and family as soon as possible so they can make themselves available to help.
2. Start packing up things you don't use everyday well before your moving date.
3. Two weeks before the big move, tear a bunch of ligaments in your foot so you are unable to walk without a crutch nor can you finish packing or lifting things on your own.
Note: If possible, sprain your foot playing a sport that your father has been telling you for the past year to stop playing because "you're too old", for example, football. It is not annoying at all to hear "I told you so" 75 times a day.*
I, myself, have successfully performed all three of these crucial steps, the last of which was completed on Saturday.
God. Dammit.
*Oh but I caught the fucking ball and held onto it even as I heard ligaments tearing inside my foot. I am awesome.
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10 comments:
Dude, you tore ligaments? Damnit, we're losing players like it's going out of style....at least we have 77 girls on our roster. I feel personally responsible for this, since I throw the football and stuff....
Way to hold on to the ball! I hope you had fun and that your foot is better soon!
Torn ligaments from football! I know it hurts and it sucks, but it's cool.
Are you just trying to get me to do the testing for you on saturday? Cuz, just ask nice and I will... you don't have to go to the hospital or anything! Seriously. I'll call you tomorrow.
Too old for football?? Too old for the slide, sure. Too old for the sandbox, maybe. But you're entitled to play football with your kids, and maybe your grandkids, depending on whether your kids raise a bunch of sissy grandkids or not.
I'm so glad you didn't lose sight of the important thing here...you held onto the ball. Very good! And are you sure it was an "accident?" I mean, moving's fun and all, but this "happened" at the most appropriate time. :) Hope it gets better soon! They need you Saturday, I'm sure.
I know it's all part of your evil plan to be the last thing carried into the new place, reclining on the couch as four strapping young men carry it inside and place it ever so gently in the new livingroom.
Gordon is your quarterback? No wonder your leg is broken. Effing Gordon goddammit. Do you know what kind of wrench this throws into the daily lunch routine. First you hang up on me then you break Sarah's goddamned leg. I hate you.
Fight, fight, fight, fight!!
I got your back John [immediately start choking on Jolly Rancher]
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