Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Sarah is not happy

I was very aggravated today all day. Here are some reasons why:

1. "Lost" is a repeat this week and "The Office" wasn't on tonight. All I have to say about that is WTF.

2. I have asked this question a thousand times, and I will continue to ask it until I get a good answer: Why in the name of all that is holy can't Clevelanders drive when it rains!? Why??? It's like we get a few gray clouds and immediately pop it into 2nd gear for the duration of the day. Yes when it rains you should be more cautious. Perhaps slow down a bit while going around curves. But slowing down 25 mph below the speed limit is the definition of the word "overkill". If you want I can further illustrate that word by punching you 700,000 times in the jaw. P.S. Riding your brakes is ruining them and ruining my day so stop it.

3. Why doesn't the shoe industry make cute shoes that have heels under 5"? All the cutest styles have really high heels, but once you get to the shorter heels that look like they might actually be made for a human foot, it's like hey take a look at our Reject Collection. Shoe industry, my sister and I need your help. 1) We are very tall. We're already taller than 75% of the guys we meet at bars. Please don't make it worse for us by forcing us to wear these shoes that make it so we are eye level with the band playing up on stage. 2) We have really, really bad feet and ankles. Simply put, we are a mess, shoe industry. Torn ligaments (or in Diane's case, no ligaments), cysts, foot surgery, softball injuries, volleyball injuries. Our feet and ankles are weak and swollen. High heels are out of the question for us. I don't want to sound too much like a chick or anything, but well...it just doesn't seem like you like us anymore. I mean maybe I'm reading into things, but you used to surprise us with cute shoes in styles we could wear, and now...I don't know it's like the romance is gone. I mean you don't even make a decent brown sandal anymore. Seriously-what's going on with us?

4. This morning when I got to my floor, I had to find my security badge to open the door. Meanwhile two people were standing on the other side of the door-which is glass and therefore transparent, by the way-just watching me. After a few minutes of searching, I finally got the badge and unlocked the door. Right as I went to open it, I dropped my badge. I quickly bent down and picked it up then realized that part of it was still on the ground. I bent down again to pick that up, and the door locked. I then had to reinsert my security badge to unlock the door again, and then I opened the door to let myself in all while these 2 people were staring at me making no attempts to help. Hey-thanks for the assist on that one, a-holes. Next time I need to find people who can't be bothered to press a button 3 inches from them in order to let in a girl who is clearly struggling, I'll know who to call. Oh by the way, as I walked by you I silently wished that you would both spill coffee in your lap and burn your nether regions. Stupid...effing...douches.

5. I am in no way going to honestly complain about our weather here after seeing what all the states down south have been going through with the hurricanes, but today it was so windy this is literally what I looked like after walking back from lunch:

Luckily my lipstick still looked great.

I promise more Happy Sarah tomorrow. Hopefully. If people learn how to drive in the rain between now and then.


Anonymous said...

You beat me to the lipstick looking great comment.

On shoes: Can I join your club? Can we start something here? I'm 5' 10" and have tried THREE TIMES in the last few weeks to buy new shoes. Why must I look like a six foot two whore or a granny? MAKE CUTE SEXY SHOES FOR GORGEOUS TALL GALS NOW.

russ said...

Wouldn't a jigsaw solve the shoe problem?

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

I have an opposite door experience. People hold the outside door for you from WAYYY too far away. I'm across the parking lot waving, saying, "Go ahead, go in." but they stay there, holding the door.

It makes me feel guilty because I'll be damned if I'm going to wait 5 minutes while someone walks across the parking lot. If they are within 20 feet, OK.

Unless it's a chick. Then 30 feet. Maybe.

Sarah said...

AG, my sister is 5'10", too, and I'm 5'9". I'm glad I am not the only one who has noticed this horrible lack of cool shoes for tall girls. You are now in our club.

Russ, no. 1 - I don't have a jigsaw. 2 - Then the heel of your shoe is lower than the front part so you are basically leaning back all day.

Shamus, GREAT CALL!! I hate it when people do that! Then I feel like I have to run, but I don't want to so I end up doing that half running/half jogging thing that just looks retarded.

Mon said...

Shoes... you either have a witchy pointed toe that will fit nicely up someones a**, while deforming your feet and toes, or total square toes, there are no nice, in betweens.

HH said...

I'm really tall too, and I have to say I disagree. As far as cute-shoes-for-the-bar goes, this last season has been a major breakthrough for tall girls everywhere.

The ballet flat has saved my life and soothed my soul.

However, as far as something cute for winter, a la a pointy black boot: Why would I want to be 5 inches off of the ground when trying to walk on ice slicks? That remains a mystery to me. Huge heels on a boot just leaves more room to fall.

PS. I'm sure drivers in Cleveland are awful in the rain, but these NJ drivers could give them a run for their money.

russ said...

Then the heel of your shoe is lower than the front part so you are basically leaning back all day.

Sounds pretty chill.

My least favorite door activity is when there are double doors but only one open, if there's no seperator people would rather wait for you to come in/out than open the other door. Freaks!

Oh, that girl. said...

The rain issue is in every friggin state. It gets worse here in DC when it snows. 2 inches and the whole damn city shuts down. I mean, people abadoning their cars on the side of the highway and very well equiped SUV's going 25 on the highway with their flashers on. COME ON PEOPLE! I lived in Michigan for many years and this infuriates me. I would drive home on the shoulder of the Highway going 55 passing everyone. I figured they would see my Michigan plates and just go, "Ohhhhhh".

slcup said...

The brown sandal thing is so true! I've been searching for three summers for a chocolate brown sandal that doesn't look like it belongs on someone with a crash helmet, a snackpack and a short bus bus pass.

As for cute shoes, hh is right. The ballet flat is an essential part of my wardrobe. The round-toe pump is very hot this season, and can be found in great supply and cute styles at Dillards, Meier & Frank (Macy's) and Nordstrom. As a sexy 5'9" gal, I have a rule: nothing higher than a 3" heel. The winter boot: I wear ugly hiking boots to trek from my car to my office door (10 feet) and bring my kitten heeled boots with me to change into. Silly? Yes. Awesome? Yes.

Sarah said...

There isn't a Macy's or Nordstrom near me. Okay there's a Nordstrom, but it's on the east side, and it's a bitch to get to. However, we do have Dillard's. I never have luck there. I went there last night, and everything I saw that had a reasonable heel was for grandmas. Everything else was Steve Madden, and those are ridiculous. It's like he hates feet. Okay, hh and SLCUPS, I will give it another shot. Just for you.

Oh, that girl. said...

My I suggest a cheaper and almost always much more comfortable alternative: Target or Payless. It never fails. Comfort, fashion and PRICE!!! I have unusually large feed (10&1/2 to 11) so they have my size if I get there at the right time and everything is usualy super comfy and low heels are no problem. You just have to get there when they first get their shipment if you have a popular size. Like Me...And bigfoot.

Johnny Virgil said...

Did someone say six-foot-two whore?

this.is.damon said...

1. Doesn't that suck? Lost isn't showing new episodes for about 4 weeks I think :( I love the office too, and since it's not such a contiguous storyline, I can watch a repeat and still pee on myself laughing.

2. California is opposite, in that when it rains, it seems like most people think it's time to speed up on the road .. maybe to see if they can go fast enough to dodge the rain drops, I don't know.

~The Goofy Ass Chick said...

I'm also an unhappy camper this week. It seems like every woman in blogosphere is having their period this week. ;-)
I also cursed at my tv for The Office not being on last night. And to lose Lost tonight too feels like my unborn child has come up missing. I just don't feel complete.
I'm 5'7" and wear a 9. I also have trouble finding cute shoes, but mostly because shoe stores don't carry as many 'large' shoes as they do the 'average' sizes. I'm on the lookout for way cute blank and/or red boot that doesn't make me slip on ice like I did last year. (Old people were holding on to my arms as I walked across the streets- literally). I'm also an avid Target shopper. But I'm heading to DSW this weekend. :-)

russ said...

Sounds ot me like t.i.d is the kind of driver yo're complaining about. And vice-versa.