Thursday, January 25, 2007

Some stuff

In the news:
- I don't know what to say about this. The theater community will do a play about anything. Seriously.
- This is funny. At lunch we were just talking about microwaving accidents. One time my dad and I put a 3 Musketeers in the microwave, and there was a big purple flash and the microwave shut down. Neither of us thought to take it out of the metal wrapper, and it shrunk down and molded itself onto the candy bar. It was awesome. My dad said, "Don't tell your mother." then we wrapped it in a paper towel and threw it away. John once set a piece of pizza on fire in the microwave his parents had just bought a week earlier. And new guy, RTFM (read the fucking manual), apparently microwaves everything. He started telling us about all these things he put in the microwave and got weird results. Like if you cut a grape almost in half and lay it down in the microwave some sort of weird plasma bubble forms over it. WTF. I picture RTFM like Phoebe's brother, Frank, on "Friends". Remember how his hobby was that he melted stuff. That's RTFM. He microwaves stuff.
- Holy shit this is the closest we've ever come to Star Trek. Set your phaser to "stun". Yeah I did just whip out some Star Trek knowledge. I have many levels, you guys.

- On Monday I was in the elevator with this woman, and we started talking about the weather, and she asked me if I knew what the weather was going to be like on Wednesday. I said I didn't know but that knowing Cleveland in January, it would suck. Then she said, "I hope it's nice. That's hump day." I really didn't know how to respond to that since I haven't had a conversation about hump day since I was in 6th grade.

- You know how when you have the TV on in the background, but you're not really paying attention to it because you're so deeply entrenched in whatever else you're doing like cleaning or reading (playing electronic Tetris) so you end up watching some lame ass show, and you don't realize it until it's halfway over? That's what happened to me last night, and can I just say that it is extremely depressing to hear a really great song that you love playing on "One Tree Hill"? Now it's tainted. Goddamn you, Chad Michael Murray. God. Damn. You.


Johnny Virgil said...

Happy belated hump day.

Sgt said...

I can't see that heat gun being all that practical. Lets take a quick tally of resistant humans:

Americans: Live in tanning booths constantly exposing their body to intense heat.

Anyone in the Middle East: It's a freakin desert! Its like 130 degrees in the shade. That ray would probably be like spraying them with a water hose offering relief.

SgtRedline: I'm one of those people who feel its not a shower unless my skin turns red from the scaulding water. I'll probably just sit in the ray and occassionally toss some water on nearby rocks for the sauna effect.

They should just go back to using the Microwave raygun and really cook people (yet leaving their insides frozen)

Marianne said...

Give it another year and your blog will become a Broadway smash hit.

I bet Peter Cetera would be thrilled to work on the score and just think how great your artwork would look in 100' glory.

russ said...

Speaking of Peter Cetera (and thinking about his previous film work) -- I accidentally posted this to yesterday's blog.

You must put up with the song to get to the Ralph M cameo.

Nessa Mulheren said...

Oy - Seriously - how did you miss this little gem?

"WASHINGTON - What puts that sexy twinkle in a spider's eye? A mate aglow. Take away the ultraviolet portion of light, and what seemed like the arachnid version of Scarlett Johansson or Matthew McConaughey attracts no more lust than plain Jane or dumpy Dan."

tfg said...

I microwaved a pair of boxers once and damn near burned my apartment down. True story.

Lindystar said...

Maybe you should and C. M. Murray should "Hug it out.." like bitches do.

My God "The Office" is funny.

I think we should revive the phrase hump day. That would be awesome.