Monday, January 08, 2007

You're PMSing pretty hard, huh?

- Friday morning after a stellar episode of The Office, I came in to work and a message was sitting in my inbox from The subject line was "you're not going to believe this...". There was a picture attached called "jamaican-jan-sun-goddess.jpg". When I opened it up this is what I saw:

I love Johnny Virgil.

- My friend Special Dark who is actually a Jamaican sun god and who has said to me in the past "I know I'm your token black friend", wrote this to me while we were discussing 1) a party we went to and 2) completely unrelated, a bad thing that happened a couple weeks later: "It's the black curse. That's it .. no more parties where I am the only dark cloud."

- On Thursday I was in a meeting where we were actually talking about how we would use this one giant dry erase board , and we spent, literally, 45 minutes talking about which color post it notes we should use, which shape (square or rectangle?), what we should use to write on the post it notes, how big the post it notes should be, etc. Someone actually said, "I really think we should use marker rather than pen or pencil." and everyone in the room nodded in agreement while saying, "Great idea!" "Good thinking!" Then someone shot herself. It was me. Let me just put this out there in case my feelings aren't completely clear on this subject: I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS WHAT KIND OF POST IT NOTES WE USE OR WHAT WE USE TO WRITE ON THEM OR IF I SHOULD USE TAPE TO HANG THEM UP EVEN THOUGH THEY COME WITH BUILT IN STICKY STUFF ON THE BACK I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO USE YOUR LAME ASS DRY ERASE BOARD YOU ARE WASTING MY EFFING TIME I COULD BE ON ITUNES RIGHT NOW WATCHING THE SCRUBS "GUY LOVE" VIDEO. That might be a run on sentence.

- We went to my grandparents' retirement village this weekend, and at lunch my grandma said, "You can go up and take some fruit and then take it with you. We do it all the time." So my sister went up and got a banana and stuck it in her pocket. When we were walking down the hall, this old guy walked by Diane and goes, "How about a draw?" then whipped a banana out of his pocket and aimed it at her. I almost passed out from laughing so hard. We heard that guy laughing all the way down the hallway behind us. It was one the greatest things I have ever seen in my time here on Earth.

- Crazy church saying by my house: "Forbidden fruit creates many jams." This is one of my all time favorites.


Sgt said...

I always thought they were Spaghetti Westerns.. guess its Banana Westerns after all. The imagery alone of that scene will have me laughing all day.

I think I know the church your talking about.. unless they are stealing the sayings from the one by my old company. They always had such witty comments.

CruiserMel said...

Good heavens, people get paid to discuss post-it notes and markers? I don't blame you for wanting to shoot yourself. Surfin' iTunes is a much better use of time, as long as they're paying you.

And that old dude with the banana? I want to be him when I'm that old. Finally, a goal to strive for.

danielle said...

i was hoping you would share your office thoughts. my face was in drop-jaw configuration for the first third of the episode.

Johnny Virgil said...

I love jam.

Violet said...

Hee hee hee! A banana draw!

And I love that you had a strategy meeting about how to best use the dry erase board. Ha!

Tigerlily said...

Um, that old guy, yeah you would've had to leave my ass at the Raisin Ranch right then and there.

How about Michael's SOLITARY DREADLOCK? That show is brilliant.

Anonymous said...

I was almost in tears when Pam was pouring her heart out. Then "you must be PMSing pretty hard" comes out of his mouth. Phenominal writing.

Oh & here? We go beyond tape and post-its. We use adhesive spray, 3x6 cardstock, and black or red sharpies. Must be a German thing. Oh & the spray destroys the whiteboard.

How come the verification word has been "smenita" for each blog I've commented on today? Did they run out of words?