As my mom would say, TGIF

John solves the greeting card dilemma.

You know you are a lazy piece when during a volleyball game you run hard after a ball that's out of bounds to save it and all your friends laugh hysterically and scream incredulously, "Holy crap did Sarah just run?!?" And also when you answer, "Yes she did. And she's tired. Can I sit down?"

So Anna Nicole Smith. I can't say I'm surprised that she is gone. Everything in her life was pretty much leading up to a premature death by a drug overdose. Has there ever been a more pathetic life lived? You kinda just feel bad for her. A troubled woman experiences one tragedy after another-some of them self-inflicted, sure. It's just sad. I'm sad for her poor kids. And I can't decide whether I feel bad for her baby growing up without a mom or hopeful that her baby might end up having a chance at a normal life without her insane-o crazy mom around. Although, they still don't know who her dad is, do they? And both of the possible dads are horrible choices. No forget it-that baby doesn't have a chance. They should do a show like, "My Two Dads", and it will star Dannielynn, and it will be all about how she has two completely effed up dads-one who was crazy enough to date her mom and call her "sweet potato" and another one who is clearly gay and most likely had something to do with her brother's death. And when she needs guidance and wisdom she'll go down to the fountain shop and talk to Dick Butkus.

Television. It's time. Spoilers.

Lost
I am so excited "Lost" is back. I liked Wednesday's episode a lot. We definitely needed to learn more about Juliet, and we really did. I was a tad annoyed, though, because man I hate that lady. She is so weak and bitchy and just so...annoying. If Jack and her get together I am going to be pissed. I might even write a letter. Oh yeah. Jack, Jack, Jack. Man did I miss you. You are so freaking pretty. I just want to kiss you all over your scraggly facial hair. Did you notice how he could only fix Ben when Kate was talking to him? And how emotional she got when she was retelling the story he told her the first day on the island? You guys, I am not giving up on this. Kate and Jack. Forever. I have a question that's kind of bothering me. Can someone tell me how the hell Ben has so much power over all The Others? No one can just leave when they want to? And they're all scared of him. WTF? He's one tiny man who, granted, looks like a crazy serial killer, but still. All one of them has to do is jab a scalpel into his jugular, and we're all good. I don't get it. Maybe it has to do with all the mind control stuff. Speaking of which-um mind control stuff!!! That was insane. The story barely moved forward which I admit is a tad frustrating, but they did hit a guy with a bus, and that was pretty cool. Next week appears to be mostly Desmond, and I just want to say Bring It On. I love me some Desmond.

The Office
Oh holy Jesus. I don't even know where to begin. During the toast I actually hid underneath my blanket. I couldn't watch it. It was so excruciating and so damn funny. First off the Altoid thing was genius. I love Jim so much. And Michael saying that Phyllis's wedding day was a bigger day for him than for her. Employer of the Bride. The Pam and Roy thing was hard to get mad at because Roy was being so sweet. And man that beard...he is a hottie. But poor Jim. Dammit. The day they finally get together is going to be the best day ever. Well not better than the day Jim and I get together, but still pretty damn good.

- Phyllis stealing Pam's wedding. "What does P & R stand for?" "Phyllis and Robert." "Yeah or Pam and Roy."
- "Did you break wind?"
- "There are too many people on Earth. We need a new plague."
- I seriously can't believe there was a flag on the wheelchair.
- Creed putting his name on someone else's present
- Toby yelling "Toby! Yeah!" regarding his hot date
- Michael saying the definition of "wedding" only really saying the definition of "welding"
- Easy Rider
- "Do you Phyllis take Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration to be your lawfully wedded husband."
- "I thought you weren't supposed to wear white to a wedding." "I know. There was an emergency." "I look really good in white." And a tiara apparently. Awesome.
- Jim telling Pam that she looks cute when she dances. If he told me I looked cute doing anything I would faint right on the spot.

Grey's
I loved last night's episode because sometimes this show forgets that it's a medical drama. I thought it was so interesting and intense and oh...my...God how hot is Alex. They just keep making him more amazing and wonderful every episode. He freaking pulled a cement pole off of a lady! When he was talking to the crushed victim (gew), and then he stopped to talk to Addison before he left the room and she leaned back against the door and sighed as soon as he was gone, I was like, "Amen, sister. A-men."

Poor Chief. Just trying to make a fresh start. When Addison was yelling at the three of them in the elevator and called Sloane a man-whore and Meredith a 12 year old, I almost snorted pop out my nose.

The whole Callie being George's boss at work spells trouble, I'm afraid. What's the big deal if he shows a little bit of affection? I didn't think he was being that bad. I think she's just afraid of what other people will say.

Meredith's drowning and the little girl won't effing talk. I know this is mean, but when Meredith fell in the water and the little girl just stood there staring, I was like, "Holy crap little girl you better stop this little mute game of yours and get your ass moving." She's like 6 and has lost her mom and been through horrible trauma and I am yelling at her. I'm a horrible person. Well, we all know they aren't going to kill off Meredith. But it will make for some interesting drama next week. And Patrick Dempsey looking all scared and heroic and way hot. So I am fine with that.

Also Izzie drills holes into a guy's head. Awesome.

Best "Scrubs" moment:
Turk is asking Dr. Kelso to allow him to take part in a surgery on a fetus even though he's not a neo-natal surgeon. Dr. Kelso resists at first because it's against protocol.

Dr. Kelso: "Lucky for you I am a man in need. Enid asked me to get her tickets to see Al Green for her birthday. I forgot. Now it's sold out. Can you call him for me?"