Recaps of shows I pretend are real

The Office
I don't even know if I can recap The Office. I spent the whole time like, "OMG don't forget to write that down." Then I realized I was saying it every 3 seconds, and it's probably some sort of illegal violation if I write it all out word for word. All I know is when Angela said, "We are absolutely not getting a stripper." and Meredith jumped up and screamed at the top of her lungs, "SHUT UP, ANGELA!!" something inside my brain burst. I had to pause it so I could catch my breath.

- "I had an epiphary."
- "I want to tell my future son what the dealio is."
- Dwight wearing a bra and Michael not being able to get it off.
- The guy who played Benjamin Franklin. Holy crap he was funny.
- David Koechner (Todd Packer) is a genius.
- "Who wants some man meat?"
- Jim and Pam! His face when she said she was ready to be set up with one of Ryan's friends was priceless.
- Dwight saying he doesn't believe Jim that the Ben Franklin guy was the real Ben Franklin
- "You know who turned out to be a real creep? Ben Franklin."

I can't go on. I mean I can, but I won't because I won't be able to stop. Please feel free to continue this in the comments.

Grey's Anatomy
I was one for two. Christina said yes at the end of the episode. Yay! How cute were they when she finally said yes? Could I have been any more wrong about Callie and George, though? HOLY CRAP! I did not see that coming. What do you guys think? Think it's going to last? I totally do not. I loved how he finally stuck up for her last night. It's about freaking time, George! Izzie is a such a bitch. Meredith was very nice and supportive, though. Take note all you Meredith-haters. She was the only nice one!

Speaking of Meredith, can all you Meredith-haters please lay off? Look how effed up her life is! She loses her mom to Alzheimer's, and she finally gets one brief window where they can connect and be together and it's meaningful, and her mother is nothing but absolutely awful to her. Just awful. And she works up the nerve to tell her that she is not going to quit on her because she wants another chance for them to be close, but it's too late. Her mom's already gone again. I could barely watch. It was so heartwrenching.

Um...I want Miranda to be my doctor and call me 'sweetie'. I am so in love with her. I am not even kidding. My mom did a great job with the whole birds and bees talk, but in her absence I would've wanted to hear it from Miranda.

Oh, Addison. Addy, Addy, Addy. I am not even going to judge you because everything you do in your personal life is everything I would do in mine if I was surrounded by those men. How can you not look at Alex and see the delicious cartoon turkey (awesome analogy, by the way)? He is so smoking hot. And then since you can't have him you go and do it with Sloane. Yes, Addy. Yes. Nice work. Can you imagine Sloane being your backup? What?? Is it even legal to have someone that hot be your backup and not your primary? P.S. to the writers: more Alex in a tight sleeveless shirt and/or no shirt.

Also toxic blood? Mah? That is horrendous.