Are you ready for some football?

This weekend was all about football. Saturday afternoon was our first game of the fall season, and you'll all be happy to know we are just as good as we used to be. And that's horrible. We lost by a lot, but it was really fun. The guys are big into what I call The Wristband Movement. I'm sure you've seen this before-guys wearing fabric wristbands even when they are going out in public as if it is normal and not something from Olivia Newton John's "Let's Get Physical" video. I don't understand this fashion statement, but rather than fight it, all the ladies decided to join in-at least for football. When I was putting mine on I said to Diane, "Okay so where is this supposed to go? Like where on your arm is it cool to wear it?" And she said, "Nowhere. There is not one place on your arm where it is cool to wear a wristband." Awesome. Oh we also wear headbands. H-O-T.

Saturday night we went to a bar to watch the Ohio State game. Steph and Paul went to law school there so they are ridiculously obsessed. Needless to say, they did not come away happy Saturday night after OSU's loss. Watching OSU football games with Steph is not what you would categorize as "fun" but more like "terrifying". It got really hairy when about 10 minutes into the game Abby, Steph's best friend in the whole world, said, "So wait-are we red?" I just want to say to Abby that you are awesome, and you're also lucky Steph is still talking to you. Oh and PS the Steelers suck.

Also Diane and I decided we had a new pet peeve—people who paint their faces to watch a football game…at a bar. Hi-you're not actually at the game, jackhole. You're at BW3. Cool factor = 0.

Today we got up at the buttcrack of dawn and went tailgating for the Browns home opener. It was really fun except for the fact that we were basically sitting inside the core of the Earth. At least that's what it felt like. The Browns lost, but I still had fun. Although a 10 year old did kick my ass at cornhole. Twice.

I bought a $5 hat in the parking lot because I wanted to shield my face from the sun. Then our seats were in the shade the whole game (thank God). Yet somehow this is what I look like right now:



I am so burnt. I mean look at that-you can barely even distinguish my lipstick.

I would very quickly like to say something to Cleveland Browns fans. Listen-I love this city. And I love the Browns. But I hate 95% of all of you Browns fans.
1 – you're fair-weather
2 – you're mean drunks
3 – you give Cleveland a bad name
When I was in high school, nobody acted as immature and rude at football games as you guys do. Throwing shit at fans of the other team? You are adults, people. Act like it. Cleveland Browns fans are some of the most passionate fans in the league, and that's a fact. But that passion can-and usually does-quickly turn ugly, and I don't like the way it makes us look to the rest of the country. So just effing stop it. You're embarrassing me.

P.S. Baltimore Ravens suck it.