Thursday, September 08, 2005

Good news, bad news

Good news: Grandma is feeling much better. She will probably get to leave the hospital tomorrow. She has a rare form of arthritis that causes a lot of pain but is treatable with steroids and will go away completely in about a year. I'm so happy they have a name for it and that she won't be in any more pain.
Bad news: By "rare" I mean that there is like a 95% chance I will get it rather than the usual 100% chance.

Good news: My puppy Henry is coming to stay with me for a few days while my parents go on vacation.
Bad news: I have no grass and therefore will have to alienate my new neighbors by allowing Henry to go to the bathroom in their yard. Maybe I can use this to my advantage and train Henry to write out "Hi! I'm your new neighbor!" in poop. Oh my God you guys are sick.

Good news: I'm on my treadmill!
Bad news: It's not running because it came without one of its parts. Some stupid 5 year old in Thailand must've forgotten to put it in there. Damn kids. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times: you cannot trust kids to build your exercise equipment. They should really be used only for clothing and tennis shoes.

6 comments:

Matt said...

Sarah, you obviously need to walk Henry creatively, and not let him stop to poop until you reach the yard of the neighbor you want to meet, then stand there looking horified that he's doing it there every day. Crazy dog sitting.

heather said...

Yeah, those crazy 5 year old! They can't read the damn directions to know that you actually need it - go easy on the kid today, kick his arse tomorrow.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Did the part look like some kind of food? Because if so I bet the 5 year old ate it. They don't get paid much.

Kara0303 said...

You're providing free fertilizer. I mean, it's a service. They shouldn't get mad. Actually, they really should pay you instead. Been to Home Depot lately to see how much a bag of "organic fertilizer" costs these days? Geez...

Violet said...

You're so funny!! And I'm really glad you hear your grandma's going to be ok.

mc said...

Be careful with your dog's yard selection. You don't want your neighbors to go wacko like Jim Carrey in Me, Myself and Irene and have them taking a dump in your yard.