Friday, September 16, 2005

I tried to watch the prez last night but got bored

Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney are getting an annulment. This would have the same impact on me as Brad and Jen except for one small thing...I don't care. Maybe Renee realized that you're not really supposed to make it with Kenny. You're just supposed to rock out to "I Go Back" cuz that song effing rules.

I read this article yesterday in the Cleveland Scene that said we set up housing for 1,000 Katrina victims. Each person would get a free medical exam, a bunch of necessities and a cot at the Convention Center until apartments could be found for them with new furniture, etc. Also each family would have its own caseworker and community volunteer to help them find employment. Then FEMA suspended the flights here because no one wanted to come here. Yes, that's right. Those people would rather sit in the water filled with dead bodies and alligators than come to Cleveland. I almost feel like I should call up B and apologize. "You were right, B. I guess even deadly bacteria is more appealing than Cleveland." I guess they are going to force 500 people to come here. This is ridiculous. To those that refused shelter here: I'm so sorry for the tragic loss you've suffered and that the road ahead of you is long and hard. And I know that you had absolutely no choice whatsoever about your current situation-it was just an awful, awful tragedy. I know this isn't home and will never be home for you, but get your fucking priorities straight. And to the mayor of Cleveland: how come you don't offer the same deal for the people right here who are living on your streets? Okay that is as political as I'm willing to get.

Last night I had flashbacks from Sunday when we were tailgating. I remember I had to pee really bad, and as we were walking into the stadium we passed a fire hydrant, and I'm fairly sure as we passed it Matt and I both lifted a leg. We didn't pee, but still-we lifted a leg at a fire hydrant in public. Alcohol may have been a factor. Matt, can you confirm that this really happened? And was I wearing my trucker hat? Also can you confirm that no one saw us? Dear God I hope no one saw us.

11 comments:

Patricia said...

pffft.
i can't even comment on the bush thing. i'll lose it, if i do. right here in your lovely comments section.

but the hydrant thing. that is hilarious. personally, i hope dozens of people saw, 'cause it would've given them as good a laugh as it did me, just reading about it.

have a great weekend.

"AG" said...

Sarah, you tease. I got excited when I saw you get political, but then you stopped cold. Oh well.

slcup said...

What kind of "fraud" do you think they mean in the Renee/Kenny break-up? That's he's SuperGay with a teenie weenie?

Violet said...

Random thought, but...last night this tough ass guy was cruising through my neighborhood in his pimped out minivan with his music blaring and his bass pumping listening to ... Tiffany. Made me think of you for whatever reason. : )

Carly said...

Dammit my kids were going to be Kenny & Renee for halloween because she is quite a bit taller than he is.

Of course, my kids bicker all the time, so this could still work.


PS: from what I've heard K is not gay, just a slutty man with a little weenie. He probably gave her crabs.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

I heard she caught him wanking to her "Bridget Jones" videos, but only the scenes without her in them. Sad.

Jerry said...

Sarah,
So the Katrina homeless won't go to Cleveland, even for a little while. Now there's a bitchslap to the city. Wow! I used to live in Tulsa, and it was the butt of advertising jokes for a while, undeservedly.
Besides, I hear Cleveland Rocks!
Love your blog.

Matt said...

Sorry, been out of town again...but yes, we did in fact lift our legs at the fire hydrant. It was very classy. And no, nobody saw us...except all of our friends that were behind us (because were leading the pack with our pee filled bladders) and all of the other people that were crowding their way into the stadium. But beyond that, nobody else.

babyjewels said...

The town over from me is taking in some hurrican victims. Out of the 150+ towns in CT, this would be one of 3 I'd say no thanks to.

-jess said...

Tee hee hee... that fire hydrant thing is great. And a guy driving a pimped out minivan blaring Tiffany music is the fucking funniest thing I've heard all day. I love it.

Sarah said...

Violet, the guy in the minivan blaring Tiffany was my future husband.