Thursday, September 15, 2005

I smell bacon

I got pulled over this morning. I was completely taken by surprise. I knew I wasn't speeding because the jackwad in front of me WASN'T EFFING MOVING!!! I thought maybe it was for tailgating since I was essentially up jackwad's tailpipe because apparently it's difficult to drive and totally suck as a person at the same time, and he chose to suck.

Anyway, the cop pulled me over and told me it was for running a stop sign. I was pissed. The intersection where I turn out of my neighborhood has a stop sign, and I usually roll through it, but I didn't today. I swear. Then he told me it was for the stop sign before that one-the one in my neighborhood. Ah. Yes that explains it. I don't even acknowledge that one. In fact, I probably sped up when I saw it due to my assertion that it is completely useless.

Luckily my friend Mike is a cop, and he had given me an F.O.P. card which is the first thing I grabbed out of my wallet when I saw the police lights turn on. The guy let me go with a warning, and then I gave him a warning: I'm gonna go ram that jackwad's rear bumper up there. No I didn't say that...out loud.

Thank you for saving my ass, Mike!!!

8 comments:

bub said...

i can say this, since i know you...cleveland drivers are, by far, the worst drivers ever. when traveling at 75mph, 1'4" is not even remotely a safe distance from the car in front of you. i am white-knuckled every time i'm in one of you people's cars.

Sarah said...

It's okay, Bub-I know we are bad drivers. But don't worry-I wasn't on a highway when I was tailgating the jackwad. I was on a 35mph street that goes through a neighborhood.

P.S. Quit being such a wimp. :)

Patricia said...

fop?

i have several possibilities running through my mind but i don't think blogger would accept any of them.

Sarah said...

Patricia, FOP means Friend of Police. Although, I would be interested in hearing some of your alternative ideas.

Tigerlily said...

I thought it was Fraternal Order of Police?

Sarah said...

LOLOL-yes you're right, Tor. I'm such a moron. Friend of Police is what I call it to myself because I think it sounds nicer.

Tigerlily said...

I thought to myself, "all this time it's been FRIEND? Damn, i need to get off the island more"

TinaPoPo said...

Oh my god, I love Friend of Police. I'm totally using that now. But I'll give you credit.

Not that this has much to do with anything, but my dad is a huge Amy Grant fan and as a member of her fan club, he's a card-carrying member of F.O.A. Which means Friends of Amy.