Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Dinner party

5 Reasons why I am awesome:
1. I had off today.
2. I cooked dinner tonight. For a total of SEVEN PEOPLE.
3. My house is still standing and no one was killed.
4. I had candlesticks on the table and a for real tablecloth.
5. I made mashed potatoes from scratch. Some people use a hand mixer. Me-I mash that shit by hand. That's just how I roll.

5 reasons why I am not awesome:
1. I cut myself using kitchen shears and now it really stings. And it's not like using kitchen shears is any different than using regular scissors which means I shouldn't really be allowed to use scissors.
2. I wore a tiara the entire time I cooked. And also throughout the entire dinner party.
3. I burnt the rolls. Fucking rolls, people. Out of a tube.
4. Even though no one was killed, there was a maiming. It's not entirely my fault, though I think not having discerning taste when it comes to buying a set of knives maybe played a part. My knives actually are the worst knives on the planet and couldn't even cut through watermelon. As a result, blood was shed, bandaids were used, complaining was NEVERENDING. We get it, Diane-your finger hurts. My knives are bad. Point taken. Seriously though if your finger turns green, you should probably go see someone about that.
5. Without going into detail, somehow an unused tampon ended up being a central theme to my dinner party.

All in all I give my party an A-. Points were taken off for Diane's bloody finger and burnt rolls. However, points were added for Drew eating in a wifebeater.


Anonymous said...

There is a certain charm about a man eating in a wife beater at a linen set table with candlelight! It's almost like a Lifetime movie set!

Anonymous said...

see, if i were keeping score, i'd take off points for diane making death threats to other dinner guests based on a billy joel song, you seeing how many peas you could eat off your knife at one time, the dinner discussion about the graphic face transplant, and jace bringing raw cookie dough for dessert. but the food was awesome and we totally proved that we aren't growns up quite yet, despite seeing 30 on the horizon. big points added for that! i *heart* you! -steph

russ said...

So what was the menu?

I see mashed potatos and pees, and dinner rolls. I'm picturing some kind of roast, perhaps with a pan gravy.

What wer eyoudoing with kitchen shears?

Violet said...

Dude! A tiara! That's awesome!!