Thursday, February 03, 2005

Canoodling

Hey, did you guys catch the State of the Union last night? Yeah neither did I. On to important things...

Oh my God, you guys. Okay I don't want to get everyone's hopes up, but today I heard that Brad and Jennifer have recently been seen canoodling all around town. Canoodling! I don't know what that means, but every time 2 famous people are seen canoodling it means they are also diddling, and we all know what that means. I also heard that a source close to them said, "They have never been closer than they are right now." I don't want to get too excited but OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also heard that Michael Moore has been calling all these big Hollywood stars to ask them to get him tickets to the Oscars (people like Jack Nicholson, etc.), but no one will even call him back!! This gives me endless amounts of joy as I hate Michael Moore. And it has nothing to do with politics-I've already spoken about how politics are of little importance to me. It has to do with him being a giant dillhole.

What is the deal with McDonald's using sharks to sell Filet-o-Fish sandwiches? Seriously I didn't think I could hate the Filet-o-Fish more, but apparently I was wrong.

To the lady who pushed me out of the way (literally) to get off the elevator first and then walked up to the door and waited for me to get out my security keycard without making any attempt to get out her own: is there anything else I can do for you? Get you some coffee? Pick up your dry cleaning? Shine your shoes? Cuz this is all about you.

3 comments:

Erik with a K said...

dillhole is the most awesome name for Michael Moore.

second most awesome name - dumptruck, as in, "I'm sick of seeing that dumptruck Michael Moore on TV..."

Tigerlily said...

I agree wholeheartedly.
With everything, especially Brad and Jen, now THAT is an important news break that I wouldn't mind butting in on my primetime entertainment.

John said...

my favorite nickname that I've heard on Fox News for Michael Moore is cocksmoker. I hate that fat fuck.