Thursday, February 10, 2005

I'm suing

I've been having heart palpitations intermittently over the past month, but mostly last night and all day today. Diane just read yesterday that they can actually be caused by a broken heart due to all the stress and lack of proper sleep. That's great. So B literally broke my heart. WTF! Shouldn't I be compensated for this somehow?

"Listen, B, you broke my heart."

"I know. I love Baltimore so much, and I can't ever leave it even though my life will never be what it could be if I was there with you. I'm so sorry."

"No, seriously, it's broken. It's currently not working properly. I'm suing for damages. I think $500,000 and your soul oughta cover it. Thanks."

4 comments:

Johnny Virgil said...

As someone who has lived with PVCs for about ten years now, let me give you some tips. Get more sleep, stay away from coffee, get on a treadmill at least 3 times a week, eat regularly spaced meals, eat more often but smaller meals, and go light on the alcohol. So far, I've managed to do everything but the last six, and it seems to have helped.

Erik with a K said...

Holy crap, i didn't know this could happen. No wonder I had so much heart trouble over the years with the Red Sox, a girl who ran off to florida, a few pets who didn't like me, and a neighbor who never grumbled "Hey" back to me when we'd nearly run each other over on the way up the sidewalk...

Mel Mega said...

This explains alot about my condition the past six months. Let me know how that whole "suing" thing works out...I have someone on my list...

Golightly said...

Great idea. Come to think of it, some of us could make millions