Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Today's observations

1. If you don't watch "Scrubs" you're a moron. I understand this statement does mean I am calling some of my friends and family members morons. So be it. Watch the show if you don't want to be a moron.

2. Topher Grace should be in every movie.

3. Today Rachael Ray made a frittata (not to be confused with Nelly Furtado), and twice she used the word "eggscellent" to describe it. Listen, Rachael, I love you, but I will not hesitate to kill you.

4. The biggest surprises in the news today are as follows:
I'm sorry if I offend anyone with that last one. I just wasn't entirely sure he was still alive. He's young, you guys. Don't worry about my soul being damned for all eternity-I'm not Catholic so it's cool to ridicule the sick and elderly. Also if I'm going to be damned for anything it would be laughing at the South Park episode where they make fun of the Special Olympics.

5. Bathroom observations
  • At my first visit in the morning, someone went into the stall next to me and started--how can I say this gently so as not to offend your delicate sensibilities--diarrheaing all over the goddamn place. I'm sorry to have to tell you that, but you are not the one who had to hear it so quit your whining. Let's just say I didn't finish zipping up my pants before I ran out of the stall.
  • On my second visit in the afternoon, 3 out of the 4 stalls I went into had unflushed toilets. Seriously, ladies, let's share our work accomplishments, not our bathroom "accomplishments".
  • On the way back to my desk after the second visit, I saw a girl in a pretty blue skirt and a nice white shirt and what can only be described as a furry black tophat. I just really don't know what to say about that.

8 comments:

Carly said...

1. Why did Meredith even pick Ian? I never did get it. I didn't see the "Amazing love story" that posters went on an on about (at www.fansofrealitytv.com which you should check out, because it's good)

2. You haven't died a horrible death until you hear a gross woman grunting in the stall next to you. Followed by "Ahhh." and me without a pen to rupture my eardrums.

sara said...

i decided we really should be best friends considering...

1. i almost wrote a post last night about how great scrubs is and how in love i am with zach braff. he makes me thisclose to peeing my pants at least once a week. "you can't touch me!"

2. besides my crush on zachie-poo i also have a megahuge one on topher grace. the first "boyfriend" i had back in like 6th grade was called "tophs" and/or "topher"...i think it's a sign!

peace out playa!
-s

Anonymous said...

Ok, so I've spent the last two lunch breaks at work reading this. I got the link to your blog through, well, it's a long, rather embarrassing story, but let's just say the whole "breakup" scenario you went through is not exactly unfamiliar to me.
Anyhow, posting to let you know that this is easily one of the funniest things I've ever read, and since I freely admit I read the New York Times and Foreign Affairs on a regular basis, you can imagine how I was falling out of my chair - you've got them beat hands down. Seriously - great stuff. Can't wait to read more.

danielle said...

i know i've claimed favorite words and phrases before, but this time it's for good. 'diarrheaing' is the greatest made-up-noun-into-a-verb conjugation in the history of the world.

incidentally, i think several people are of the mindset that you would look very pretty in a furry top hat. very...pretty.

mc said...

Sarah - I know it's been awhile since you heard from me put I love your blogs. Awesome! And Scrubs does rock! Hope everything is going great!

Sarah said...

Holy shit, Matt! How did you even find this blog? Did Scott give it you? I miss you, kiddo! I hope everything's going great for you. I heard you're doing well. Sorry I talk about poop on my blog. (I'm not really sorry)

Sarah said...

Anonymous--thanks for the kind words and for stopping by. Sorry you're dealing with the breakup crap, too. It's good times, isn't it?

mc said...

Sarah - John got a hold of me on IM the other day and for some reason, so did Brian (worked at Key for a while when I was there). He told me about the site so I thought I'd check it out. John has my email address if you ever want to catch up.