Monday, February 07, 2005

Super Blow

Howie Long: Thank you for joining us for the Super Bowl Wrap Up show. I'm Howie Long here with Sarah. The Patriots managed to pull it off once again tonight despite a valiant effort by the Eagles. That makes three titles in four years for the Pats. I tell you, Tom Brady couldn't be hotter than he is right now. What do you think, Sarah?

Sarah: Well, yeah he's pretty hot. I mean, personally I think Steve Young was the hottest quarterback in the NFL. Actually he's still pretty cute. Is he here?

HL: Actually, Sarah, I meant that Brady was hot in terms of his career.

Sarah: Sure, yeah. (pause) You know who else is hot? Brett Favre. I'd like me some of him.

HL: Right. So let's talk about the Pats defense--

Sarah: And Lardiss is really hot.

HL: Lardiss? What team is he on?

Sarah: Oh he's not in the NFL. He's my friend. He was at the same party as me.

HL: Okay...

Sarah: Actually you're kinda cute, too, Howie. But maybe lose the flat top. I mean it is 2005, and you're not actually a football player anymore. Unless you call crappy Radio Shack commercials football.

HL: Ummm...

Sarah: Speaking of commercials, they kinda sucked this year. I'm disappointed. The P. Diddy commercial was ridiculous. Hey-since apparently we all want to be like him and do everything he does, maybe we should start ripping off everyone else's music and rapping badly over it. What do you think? Plus, does Carson Daly really improve sales? Or does he really just make us all want to kill ourselves? Honestly, Pepsi. I'm disappointed. The MC Hammer Nationwide ad was genius, and I will say that I enjoyed the careerbuilder.com ads. Monkeys in suits--that's gold, Jerry!

HL: Okay I think I'm going to go find Terry Bradshaw.

Sarah: Monkeys!! In suits!!! Ahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Matt
Ummmm...the mock conversation. Great idea. I think it should become a Monday morning tradition. And the drunk blog...holy crap I almost blew out the stitches in my mouth laughing at that...errr...WITH it I mean!

Anonymous said...

I started seeing this guy about 2 months ago and he introduced me to the world of blogging. He's an aspiring writer. You know the type, passionate, a love for life, can find beauty in a pile of shit, told me he loved me two weeks into the relationship (who does that??). . . blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, there is a reason I am telling you all this. Through his blog I found your's (way more interesting and funny). I love your blog and look forward to reading it everyday! So this past Saturday this guy dumps me b/c he said the relationship was taking away from his writing! (ASS! you were the one who wanted to spend 24/7 together!!!!!)
Long story short, since the dump and the Eagles loss, your blog was the first thing to make me laugh out loud since Saturday. Thank you!

P.S It's true the best thing is when they put their arms around you and pull you to them 1st thing in the morning. :(

Golightly said...

Steve Young will always be the hottest QB in football, I am sure of this even years from now, he'll still be one HOT bastard. I heart him
Per usual, this is like reading my own mind
Keep it up, girl!

Erik with a K said...

As always, awesome.

John said...

Oh my god I thought I was the only one who thought Steve Young was hot but I still think Brett Favre is the hottest ever. Even though he has the same name as a certain bastard

Johnny Virgil said...

I can tell you know way more about professional sports than I do. You used words like "defense" and "valiant" and "titles." The last time I said any of those thing was to the judge when I stole that old plymouth in high school.

Johnny Virgil said...

I can tell you know way more about professional sports than I do. You used words like "defense" and "valiant" and "titles." The last time I said any of those things was to the judge when I stole that old plymouth in high school.