Monday, March 28, 2005

C'est la vie

One of the things I have learned from B leaving is that life offers no guarantees. It doesn't matter how confident you are of anything or how secure you feel, nothing is for sure. This is a crappy lesson. In fact I hate this lesson. It is difficult and heartbreaking and not even useful, really. It would've been much more valuable to me if when B had left I had learned a lesson on how to change my oil or on creating a great steak marinade. But nooooo. I have to learn that you can count on almost nothing. Boo. That sucks.

All of this lesson learning has me depressed. So to make myself feel better I have decided to seek out things that I CAN count on. Here is what I have so far in the way of life's certainties:

- Will Ferrell is the most hilarious person on the planet
- Cherry Coke is always refreshing and delicious
- Diane will tell me I am crabby or in a bad mood at least once a week
- If I turn the cold water off a little bit in my shower, the water will get colder
- 6 times out of 10 I will sneeze right after I put on my mascara so I end up looking like this:



- If it exists in nature, I will be allergic to it
- Diet Dr. Pepper does not and will never taste like regular Dr. Pepper
- When Conan O'Brien has animals on his show you will laugh so hard you almost pass out
- A night at the emergency room will cost more than my first car

9 comments:

slcup said...

Finally! Someone that agrees with me that Diet Dr. Pepper DOES NOT taste just like regular Dr. Pepper. What a load of shit!

I'm sorry you're blue. When G and I broke up I learned two lessons. Lesson #1 was if you think a guy is cheating on you, he probably is. Lesson #2 was if you charge up your credit cards and ignore the bills, the bills don't go away, ever!

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Diet drinks could never taste the same as the orig. Although in the case of Pepsi, the diet tastes better.
I'm cautious about trying Lime Coke....

Matt said...

I would highly recommend the lime coke. Its awesome. It would be a great mixer with rum. And incidentally, I've never had the real one, just the diet. But it was good.

Erik with a K said...

You're right about Will Ferrell...and most things. Seriously, when are we all gonna party? Summer pool bash?

"AG" said...

Sarah- I love the first paragraph. Applicable to so many things...only now I can laugh.

Sarah said...

Regular Coke with Lime is horrible. So effing horrible. Diet Coke with Lime is...okay. It's better than regular. But I would rather have Cherry Coke. Always.

Johnny Virgil said...

conan o'brien has the absolute best hair. It gives Donald Trump's hair a good run in the sentient-being-living-on-my-head category.

"AG" said...

By the way, I hope you don't mind my asking, I know how some girls can be secretive about this, but- what shade of lipstick is that? I want to get it!

Ozzie said...

Pepsi is coming out with Pepsi Lime. F-it, Lesson #1 - Agreed, Lesson #2 - Agreed, Lesson #3 - Have as much fun as you can, life is too short (and unexpectedly changes to often) not to. This, of course, includes adult beverages.