Friday, February 04, 2005

Smells like teen spirit

This post started out as a rant about pantyhose. I was going to mention that they are useless unless you are robbing a bank and then wittily go into how now apparently they are creating pantyhose with a purpose because L'eggs has created a line called Sheer Vitality that is supposed to promote leg health. We were all going to get a big laugh about how ridiculous that is and how if they really wanted to make pantyhose more useful they could include some kind of homeless man repellant because when I wear skirts and pantyhose I can't walk across the street without hearing how nice and presentable I look in my skirt. And by that I mean that I hear this: "Mm-hmm, baby! I like whatch you wearin'! You show somma dat leg, girl! How's about you come here so's we can spend some time?" Then I was going to point out that if it sounds like I'm bragging I'm really not because I am the furthest thing from sexy except for when I am pulling a dolly with a box of crap and the handle comes off and everything spills out all across the street, and I bend down to pick it up and my purse is open and then all of that stuff spills all over the street. Plus stop being so jealous about me getting hit on by homeless men. Geez.

Anyway, in my quest for a good quote about what Sheer Vitality will do for your leg health, I found this: http://www.scentual.net/pantyhose0529041.htm

Ummmm.....huh? I mean I guess there is a market for everything as evidenced by the fact that "Small Wonder" was on TV for 4 years. But....seriously?

Seriously?????

5 comments:

Erik with a K said...

Wow, I can't believe John bought 3 pair of those hose.

Who am I kidding, I just bought a giant purple foam Shocker, so I'm no better...

John said...

I tried to buy 5 pairs but she was running low on inventory. I wear her scented pantyhose whenever I do a bank job.

danielle said...

i think i just found me a new bidniss idea!

Johnny Virgil said...

John I think you spelled "blow" wrong.

The only thing about this that surprises me is that the girl isn't a famous porn star. They do this all the time. I remember reading an article about how in japan you could buy schoolgirl's dirty underwear in vending machines at the airport. I got curious, so here's the proof, courtesy of mr. Snopes...

http://www.snopes.com/risque/kinky/panties.htm

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Virgil, you need more friggin hobbies.