Saturday, January 15, 2005


So I talked to B yesterday, and suddenly it hit me out of the blue: this is really, truly over. He is never coming back. We will never be together again. The thoughts just kind of snuck up on me. I know, it seems like I should have already known that since he moved 400 miles away from me, right? And I sort of did. But on some level, that part of me that absolutely knew without a doubt that he and I were meant to be together was still hoping and still believing. Then I spoke to him yesterday (after not talking for 6 days--an absolute record), and it was in his voice--happiness. I hadn't heard it in a while, but I recognized it instantly. He is happy. And that is when I knew. I knew that he had really done what was right for him, and that I was wrong about us being meant for each other. I know he loves me and misses me but to him losing me is a more acceptable sacrifice than leaving Baltimore. And that's not true love. What an awful, horrible, heartbreaking lesson. Hey, Life--suck much?

I desperately want to be happy, too. So as a way of jumpstarting the "happy train", here is a list of things that make me happy:

1. going to 3 Birds with Danielle and Steph
2. dancing to 80's music in Diane's living room (note: not as hot as it sounds. actually, just as hot as it sounds)
3. playing football/volleyball/softball (note: badly)
4. "Friends"
5. blogging
6. Diane
7. my parents
8. finding a condo I might actually buy (more on this later)
9. 4-way with beans from Skyline
10. throwing things at people
11. David Hasselhoff/Baywatch
12. Cotton Club Cherry Strawberry pop
13. AJ fixing Suzi's underwear in public
14. John buying me wine with the same name as the guy who plays Charlie Salinger (Matthew Fox) and saying, "I figured this way you could sleep with the bottle and tell everyone you slept with Matthew Fox."
15. dinner at Scott and Ona's
16. downloading "Believe it Or Not"-the theme song from "The Greatest American Hero"-onto my cell phone
17. Food Network/HGTV
18. Salt & Vinegar Pringles
19. my Christmas tree
20 . when I trip down the stairs looking at a condo and my dad says it's because the stairs are "abnormally spaced" and not because I am the most clumsy person on Earth

Okay this is a pretty good start, I think. Sorry this post wasn't funny. More funny to come.


John said...

you have dark hair and giant brown eyes. I think you'll be ok.

Johnny Virgil said...

I don't even know you, but John says I totally want you. Who am I to argue?

danielle said...

hey, i don't think i've ever seen aj fix suz's underwear in public, but i'd like to. i'll be available for everything on this list except for #19, #3, and #6. i hate diane.