Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Wanna talk about number one, oh my me my

So, Erik made a good point today that I have been thinking about but haven't shared. Blogs are very self-serving. It's really all about you, your experiences, your thoughts, your opinions, etc. It's played by your rules, and completely 100% run by you. And if you're not an interesting person, it's a recipe for disaster. Thank God I'm interesting.

Seriously, though, the truth is every time I post something to this blog, I feel like a big ego maniac. I wasn't conscious of this at first because I honestly was writing it just for myself-never thinking other people would actually be reading it. But now that I know that as many as 6 people are reading this, I'm starting to feel bad. Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation when you suddenly realize you have been talking about your stories and thoughts on, say for example, 80's hair bands for the last 20 minutes, and you feel bad because you're sure the person you're with also has stories and thoughts on 80's hair bands (who doesn't), but they can't even get a word in edgewise cuz you won't shut the hell up? That is the feeling I get when I write in this, and it makes me a little uncomfortable. It's like, 'Jesus Sarah, can someone else talk, or is this all about you all the time?' And I'm here to say yes-this is about me all the time. If you don't like it, get your own blog!

Just kidding! I mean, clearly since I am the only contributing writer to this blog, most of it will be about me. That's unavoidable-I mean I DO have the conch. So just to prove that I am capable of talking about other things besides me and my boyfriend leaving, today I am going to talk about someone else: my sister, Diane. Chances are you will be hearing a lot about her since we are always together, but here is some info to get you started:

Age: 25 (26 in March)

Sign: Aries

Height: 5'10"

Hair: blond

Home address: you wish. But she lives a few streets down from me in Lakewood with Steph and Kim in a bright pink house. I used to live there then Steph took my place when I moved out. Renee used to live there, too, with me and Kim then Diane took her place when she moved out. Kim has always lived there. She is the staple. And for those wondering, yes we did used to have pillow fights in our nighties. (That one was for my lunch boys. Enjoy, fellas.)

Occupation: total slut

Can you date her: No

Why: In a committed relationship with Drew (Uh oh-I just said "committed", Drew! Are you okay? Someone check his heart rate!)

Likes: shopping, makeup, clothes, all sports, A-Rod, Chipotle, her Franklin planner, her cell phone, Drew, mint M&Ms, Mountain Dew Code Red, calling me 17 times a day, "Space Jam"

Dislikes: boys who don't like football, training people at work, staying in on weekends, people who ask her dumb questions, the words "crust" and "moist", driving her car anywhere except to work, the thing I just wrote about driving her car, seeing people eat alone

Best qualities: personality, hair, heart

Worst qualities: can be scary, weird obsession with Franklin planner, low voice on mornings after drinking

Weird qualities: can't smell skunks

Annoying qualities: forgets her glasses every goddamn time we go to the movies, sometimes attempts to kill me by serving me expired food

I like her because: we share the same DNA, we have the same giant nose, she is my best friend ever, she is the one who when I ask, "Does this outfit look okay?" will say without hesitation, "Dear God-what the hell are you wearing? Take that off immediately." when everyone else is saying, "Oh my gosh that looks so good on you!", she makes me laugh, I get to make fun of her without fear of retaliation (i.e., death blow to trachea), would actually serve a death blow to someone's trachea to defend me, takes all my crap and still loves me, makes fun of people with me, calls John creepy.

P.S. In case you're wondering, the title of this post is a lyric from a Toby Keith song.

P.P.S. I just said PP. Ahahahahahaha.

P3.S. Don't worry-someday we really will discuss 80's hair bands.


sharda said...

at work, diane is just as likely to be spotted playing with her franklin planner as she is to be doing work. actually i think i find her messing around with her planner more than i actually see her working.

danielle said...

hey diane, 1997 called. it wants its franklin planner back.

Erik with a K said...

Can't smell skunks!? My god, that's marrying material right there...don't wait Drew, whoever you are! You won't have to put up with annoying cringes, shouts of "I heard that" and the dreaded early-morning reverse Dutch Oven if you scoop her up now!

sharda said...

can we shift the blog focus back to being self-centered? cause now my sister wants to know why I don't write more about her. thanks a bunch.

Anonymous said...

Diane- Awe...thanks Sarah (I think.) For those of you who don't know me, I am also really hot, intelligent, wealthy, witty, and sexy. For those who do know me, shut your mouth. I think everyone should blog about me and my life. This is a good trend. The world has been waiting for this day.