Tidbits

• I hate it when people say "ASAP" out loud like in a sentence. WTF?
  


• Only 4 more days until The Bachelorette! I am so annoyed with that show, and I want to never watch it again, but Jen is so cute, and she's from Cleveland! I have to show my support for a hometown girl whoring herself out to 25 guys and then picking whichever one she wants so she can appear with him on the cover of Us Weekly. There are so few of us left.
  


• It's totally sweet not having a garage during an ice storm.
  


• Okay seriously, you guys, "Lost" was so good last night I was actually clapping before, during and after it. I cannot handle this show. I mean where is Claire? Are Sayid and Shannon gonna get it on? What the hell did Kate do and what is the significance of the tiny airplane? What is Charlie Salinger's home address? I need answers to my questions, ABC!
  


• Princess Diaries 2 was delightful and amazing, Steph!
  


• Is the city of Lakewood ever going to collect trash again? It's been like 3 weeks. My place is starting to look like "Sanford & Son".
  


• A really fun hobby of mine is to continue receiving all of my ex's mail and then sending it to him because he just changed his address with the post office 2 days ago even though he's been gone for a month.



• I posted this in Scott's comments, but I feel I need to post it here as well:
  
  Can I just say to all the Clevelanders out there that if you can't drive at or above the speed limit in the rain, you should get the hell off the road? That's right just pull off to the side and let me pass you so it won't take me 45 minutes to go 12 miles like it did today because apparently winter comes as a surprise to you every year even though you've lived in the Snow Belt since 1971.
  


• This is amazing. And this is even more amazing. And OMG this. Just...there are no words. Only pee in my pants.
  


• John's comment #1: Ok listen sweetpants, I know you're amazing but I received a comment from Ontario, Canada on my second day of blogging. You are a superstar but there's no need for the outright "better than all of you" declaration. I mean you might be but if it's true and you really are better, you'd be more modest. I just realized that maybe you didn't realize Canada was a different country. If so then I apologize for being so hateful about it.
  
  My reply #1: I am sorry if I offended anyone. When I wrote that I was "better than all of you" I was being sarcastic, a concept that was obviously lost on John. Who knows why he didn't get it. He used to get jokes like that. Maybe he is losing his memory from old age or maybe he caught poison ivy from someone since it is highly contagious. In any case, in no way did I literally mean that I was better than all of you. Clearly I'm not better than anyone (especially Baltimore) except maybe this guy and the guy who invented this. Oh and also John because everyone knows a reader from the Netherlands is worth more points than a reader from Canada. Nice try, loser!
  


• John's comment #2: I'm just saying your tree picture is really in focus.
  
  My reply #2: It's out of focus on purpose. I like to squint at my tree and make the lights all blurry so that's why the picture is like that. I hope your period ends soon, John.