'Sup Internet

I promise this will be the only post that starts with "'Sup". Well one of only a handful at least. My name is Sarah, and I started my blog today for several reasons:

1. My friend John started his three days ago, and I have to do everything he does except for pooping my pants. Okay just kidding I do that, too.

2. I have special gifts to share with the world: the gifts of being a bad writer and being only moderately funny.

3. A month ago a stupid boy reached into my chest with his bare hands, pulled out my beating heart and stomped on it over and over. Then he packed up all his stuff and moved back to Baltimore after moving here to be with me only 8 months earlier. I still really don't know why he left except that he felt like he "couldn't be happy here" but he "still loves me very, very much". So just as an FYI, if you ever find yourself in a position where you are pondering what is more appealing, me or Baltimore, apparently Baltimore is the way to go. If there were a list ranking US cities based on appeal, it might look something like this:

37. Baltimore
38. Sarah
39. Cincinnati (you guys, seriously--I'm much more appealing than Cincinnati)

So finding myself boyfriend-less and roommate-less, I needed to find something to do with my time that did not require exercise because exercise is hard, and I'm too tired.