Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Recipe Box

Here's a recipe I came up with in high school. It's fun for the whole family!

Sarah's Chocolate Chip Cookies

  • Gather ingredients located on back of package of Nestle chocolate chips (semi-sweet--get that milk chocolate shit out of my face)
  • Mix wet ingredients
  • Slowly add in dry ingredients
  • Add chocolate chips
  • Lean over mixer to check recipe.
  • Get permed hair caught in beaters.
  • Scream as hair winds around the beaters until the mixer is pressed up against your head and making a whiny sound because it can't turn anymore.
  • Jerk your head while calling for your mom and knock the bowl full of cookie dough to the ground.
  • Watch semi-retarded high school boyfriend dive to the ground screaming, "Nooooo!!!"--all in slow motion--and then catch the bowl just in time.
  • Listen to semi-retard say, "You guys, don't worry--I saved the cookies." while he stares at the mixer stuck to your head, still trying to spin.
  • Wait for mom to stop laughing long enough to unplug the mixer.
  • Wash hair.
  • Let mom finish making cookies.
  • Never make cookies again.

Seriously I hate cooking.


Erik with a K said...

I could never top this - the closest I can come was this past spring, when I made fresh salsa with habanero peppers from the garden, and three hours later am screamingly trying to wash the burning capcacin off my junk in the bathroom sink after attempting to pee.

Three hours and 2 handwashings later I might add!

I now use gloves.

John said...

This kind of reminds me of that show Silver Spoons. Because they had some hijinks on there.

Johnny Virgil said...

I must have missed the burning nutsack episode of silver spoons.

Sarah said...

Yeah I missed that episode, too. But I'm thinking it was probably Ricky's salsa and Alfonso Ribeiro's nutsack.

danielle said...

here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons... ricky is the reason for my obsession with blond haried boys.

danielle said...

dammit blogspot. all i wanna do i edit my comment where i spell 'haired' wrong. i hate u.

John said...

apparently you also want to add a missing s to that last post as well

Okapi said...

We must be from the same genetic line. You know those hand held blenders? I stuck my finger in the business end of mine to unclog it, then switched it on, via the gift of the recessed switch on the side. Voila! Pureed fingertip. Delicious as side dish.

Sarah said...

Maybe you and I should open up a restaurant. We could call it "Inedibles" and our big selling point could be, "If you don't find hair or a body part in your meal, it's free!"